yvonne
A passer by
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2010
- Messages
- 534
- MBTI Type
- INfP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
What do INFPs expect to be the results of emotional expression? What do you expect the other person to do once you have expressed your emotions? Rebe it sounds like you are just seeking processing space... but others? Is it simply a statement of values, so that mutual respect can be established?
i suppose i wish to be understood... or if i can't be understood, then just accepted, and if i can't be accepted, then hear reasons why, so i can understand not being accepted. if that fails, i retreat to examine my feelings and "protecting the lake"... there are various degrees of importance, though, and if i hear the reasons why i am not accepted, or rather, why my feelings at that moment are not accepted, i take serious notice and try to change my behavior with this person... it changes over time when the connection develops. if i can't accept not being accepted, and if i can't be better understood in time, distancing happens.
Also-if you cannot trust others, how do you determine who to trust emotionally? I typically block everyone honestly and let nobody close via engaging with Te, not Fi. But if I did try and engage more openly with Fi, can you describe how you do so in a graduated fashion-I guess a slower unveiling? Are there degrees of trust-some people are trusted more than others perhaps? Both may be Fi connections but on different levels?
yes, definitely some people are trusted more than others... see my description of how i function with Fi.
Also-blame? To me it seems like I have to get it out of the way, so that all negativity goes away. The easiest way is just to accept it, and relieve the other person of that blame, then dismiss it. Then we can talk or just move on, as everything is forgiven. If you dont accept blame, how do you work through the issue-do you go item by item in discussion, not to blame, but to understand? I really have no idea.
i try to go to myself before i blame. i might blame in my head, but before i blame to someone's face i wish to be sure about my feelings. sometimes the negativity just comes out, but i always regret acting that way. i don't dwell on issues with trusted people. if i have a real problem with you, you'll hear about it and i will listen. with people i don't trust/ know, i figure it doesn't matter. sometimes the feeling goes away naturally (if the stressful situation doesn't continue) while i process it in my head. i am not easily angered.