Introverts: How do you remain introverted around others?

[Mustafa]

Extroverts think to, I don't know if they do the overthinking thing while having a conversation though. Maybe not because they feel more comfortable? I have no idea how it works on the other side haha

look at post 37.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Maybe this should be a different thread......but i want to say this from that article I linked:

Vygotsky’s Theory says that in the process of 'internalization' which children go through, they go from social speech (with a caregiver) to private speech (talking aloud to themselves) to inner speech (talking/thinking in one's head).

I have of late realized I do the 'private speech' a LOT (though I have limited myself due to being chaste in my speech) And I don't do the inner speech (except with God). It makes me wonder if this process of internalization for me was blocked somehow, perhaps because of not enough verbal interaction with caregivers. Interesting!



Sorry for the hijack!

 

[Mustafa]

I don't think we are off topic, it might seem so.

 

[/DG/]

For example, how do you stay present with yourself in the moment while still answering someone's question that's in front of you?

Edit: Anyone can answer if they have some insight into this

I'm not entirely sure if I am understanding what you mean by "stay present with yourself." I do live a lot in my head I suppose, so I am not always the quickest to respond to people, but it's not like I have difficulty in communicating with others. Conversations flow just fine.

By mentally talking to myself while they're talking to me and then having a panic attack because my thoughts were louder than their voice and I didn't hear them and I can't talk to them and think at the same time and I need to think so then I just lock myself in my room and decide not to introvert in front of other people.

edit: I just realized this was my 3,000th post. You are welcome

Have you ever seen this series of comics?

 

[Ene]

^I know I'm belated in getting back to the thread, but I wanted to clarify that I do well to stay in the present until some word or phrase triggers a notion in my mind and sends me into an internal universe. I mentioned doodling because if I am doing something physical, it forces me to stay in the moment, so if you want me to stay tuned while you speak (unless youre really interesting) give me something physical with which to connect myself to this realm. (That was the original question, right? How do I as an introvert stay present?) Otherwise, I may glaze over and mentally wander off on a mindful tangent. I may construct an entire novel plot during another person's discourse or I may discover a new way to cook meatloaf. You just never know what flame a spark will ignite. As for internal dialogue and loud thoughts, I'm unashamedly guilty of both. I write fiction. I had better be able to have internal conversations and even imagine conversations and thoughts of others. So, I'm not crazy. Hehe. I'm just a writer.


Afterthought: Hmmmm....I just thought, even if I am crazy, I don't care. I rather like my insanity

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

^I know I'm belated in getting back to the thread, but I wanted to clarify that I do well to stay in the present until some word or phrase triggers a notion in my mind and sends me into an internal universe. I mentioned doodling because if I am doing something physical, it forces me to stay in the moment, so if you want me to stay tuned while you speak (unless youre really interesting) give me something physical with which to connect myself to this realm. (That was the original question, right? How do I as an introvert stay present?) Otherwise, I may glaze over and mentally wander off on a mindful tangent. I may construct an entire novel plot during another person's discourse or I may discover a new way to cook meatloaf. You just never know what flame a spark will ignite. As for internal dialogue and loud thoughts, I'm unashamedly guilty of both. I write fiction. I had better be able to have internal conversations and even imagine conversations and thoughts of others. So, I'm not crazy. Hehe. I'm just a writer.


Afterthought: Hmmmm....I just thought, even if I am crazy, I don't care. I rather like my insanity

Interesting. If I doodle or knit or do something like that, I am more likely to wander off mentally. I stay best engaged when I do nothing else while conversing.

If your eyes glaze over I think that is dissociating.

 

[Ene]

It's zoning out. That's what it is. I zone out and tune out.

 

[ceecee]

For example, how do you stay present with yourself in the moment while still answering someone's question that's in front of you?

Edit: Anyone can answer if they have some insight into this

I have a fairly constant internal dialogue/monologue going, regardless of what's happening outside. Someone asks a question - I answer. The conversation will probably just add to my head discussions.

 

[Rambling]

Staying present is difficult and I find it draining, I can do it but I need downtime afterwards to recharge.

 

[Rambling]

Lots of famous people especially writers have dialogues in their heads. For example St Augustine of Hippo and his Soliloques.

 

[Evo]

I have a fairly constant internal dialogue/monologue going, regardless of what's happening outside. Someone asks a question - I answer. The conversation will probably just add to my head discussions.

So then you don't get pulled out of that internal dialogue when you answer?

 

[Evo]

It's zoning out. That's what it is. I zone out and tune out.

But how?

 

[ceecee]

So then you don't get pulled out of that internal dialogue when you answer?

No, I mean I'm sure it happens sometimes but it's not enough to make me entirely stop or unable to go right back to it.

 

[laterlazer]

Like others have said, I have a continuous monologue in my mind at all times tbh, and it doesn't stop when conversing with others. Sometimes I might be juggling two trains of thought during a conversation where I'm thinking about something that only concerns myself whilst also thinking of the conversation topic in intervals. So a conversation rather just feels like an interruption of the thoughts already being juggled in my mind and it's as if someone just added another juggling ball. I can choose to drop some balls or stop juggling altogether to focus better on the conversation and then continue when I feel it's fine to do so, or keep the other thought streams going in which my attention would only be given for the short period of time that ball's in my hand. Random analogy idk.

 

[Evo]

Like others have said, I have a continuous monologue in my mind at all times tbh, and it doesn't stop when conversing with others. Sometimes I might be juggling two trains of thought during a conversation where I'm thinking about something that only concerns myself whilst also thinking of the conversation topic in intervals. So a conversation rather just feels like an interruption of the thoughts already being juggled in my mind and it's as if someone just added another juggling ball. I can choose to drop some balls or stop juggling altogether to focus better on the conversation and then continue when I feel it's fine to do so, or keep the other thought streams going in which my attention would only be given for the short period of time that ball's in my hand. Random analogy idk.

I think this is pretty interesting. I don't experience an internal dialogue much when I'm interacting with others. Only alone. I get forced out of it when I engage with people. It bugs me when this happens though.

 

[á´…eparted]

So then you don't get pulled out of that internal dialogue when you answer?

I don't think this is an I vs. E thing because I have a very constant internal dialouge, and talking to people doesn't stop it. I think just as much as I talk.

 

[laterlazer]

I think this is pretty interesting. I don't experience an internal dialogue much when I'm interacting with others. Only alone. I get forced out of it when I engage with people. It bugs me when this happens though.

I actually find that more interesting, what do you think about then, does your mind just work on keeping the conversation going and you don't think of other things outside of it at all? If you're trying to use this to figure out if you're extroverted/introverted, I'm not sure it makes a difference tbh, it might just be due to different temperaments.

 

[Evo]

I don't think this is an I vs. E thing because I have a very constant internal dialouge, and talking to people doesn't stop it. I think just as much as I talk.

Oh, do you mean that when you are interacting with people, you also have a commentary going on in your head about the conversation?

I actually find that more interesting, what do you think about then, does your mind just work on keeping the conversation going and you don't think of other things outside of it at all? If you're trying to use this to figure out if you're extroverted/introverted, I'm not sure it makes a difference tbh, it might just be due to different temperaments.

I suppose I just say what's on my mind. I'm not really trying to figure out my E/I preference. I think I'm an extravert. My goal is to have some more control over being able to focus on my internal dialogue, and continue my train of thought without external things influencing me. I have an ever present awareness of external things, but not always internal experiences.

For example, as I write this very post it feels like my internal dialogue has to shout over the people talking in the background. It's bothersome. And if I were to interact with them, my internal thoughts move aside.

 

[á´…eparted]

Oh, do you mean that when you are interacting with people, you also have a commentary going on in your head about the conversation?

Yes. I am thinking about what I think of the person, what they are paying attention to, what they might say next, their mood, etc. Also thinking what I am going to say next, how I am going to say it, as well as having an on going chatter about what I think about what is going on, but would not be good to say outloud.

 

[laterlazer]

Oh, do you mean that when you are interacting with people, you also have a commentary going on in your head about the conversation?




I suppose I just say what's on my mind. I'm not really trying to figure out my E/I preference. I think I'm an extravert. My goal is to have some more control over being able to focus on my internal dialogue, and continue my train of thought without external things influencing me. I have an ever present awareness of external things, but not always internal experiences.

For example, as I write this very post it feels like my internal dialogue has to shout over the people talking in the background. It's bothersome. And if I were to interact with them, my internal thoughts move aside.

Ahh I see, I think it's something that some people are more disposed to than others. I don't really know how you'd go about working on that tbh, maybe slowly trying to have other thoughts when conversing with people, start small with like thinking about what else is happening in your surroundings while having a conversation, or start easier and try and focus on your thoughts amidst background noise like you said, just practising thinking about other things when you feel yourself being interrupted by external happenings.

I mean I have a problem with multitasking which I suspect is because I use most of my brainpower thinking of other things so I can rarely do more than one activity at a time, it's just how you are and it'll probs take a whole lot of work to really change it, I hope you achieve what you want though.