[INFJ] INFJ & bowel issues

[meowington]

Hi all,

Not the most lighthearted subject, but I need to address this :

Any other INFJs here -or even other NF types- with chronic bowel issues ?

I was diagnosed with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) 2 years ago after more than a decade with recurring issues with my bowels. The doctor said I need to drastically change my lifestyle, but I was already living fairly healthy (running, eating fairly healthy and varied, etc.). I do have a stressy job in ICT, but I'm good at it and not willing to give that up (I don't see much alternatives either as I don't think their is such a thing as a stress free job).
Anyway, I've read numerous times that INFJs are susceptible to IBS when under stress, but it would be nice to hear from experiences first hand.

I've had times where I thought I could manage this illness by changing my diet (I tried eating gluten-free for 2 months) but that didn't work out 100%.
Other times I think it's totally stress related and then I live like a Budhist monk and try to be as chill as Snoop Dogg for weeks in a row : still with no avail (even without worrying much in those weeks I still have bad flare ups).

The older I get the more I think I will just have to accept that this is part of who I am, but it sucks. It's exhausting and I feel I have to overeat just to keep my body weight normal.

Thx for any feedback/experiences/pointers.

 

[Forever_Jung]

You know, this isn't all that helpful to you, but I have actually seen this in a lot in FJ's (not that I am claiming they have a monopoly). However, I have noticed a lot of NFJ's especially have a very strong stress/bodily dysfunction connection (again, a universal thing, but just anecdotally, it seems to me it's more common among NFJs).

Anyway, hopefully other people's answers are more useful, sorry you're going through that!

 

[ceecee]

Every NF that I know has or has had bowel issues of varying degrees. They are also told to drastically change their lifestyles but it's rare that any of them ever do. One of my ENFP friends finally took it seriously and made big changes, started therapy and got on some medication for the stress. This helped more than anything else, she has IBS. My husband also had issues, much more before I met him. He isn't bothered much by this anymore but here and there it flairs up. He also agrees that a serious change in lifestyle helped more than anything else - job change, getting out of a bad marriage, custody of his kids. In the very beginning, I was shielding him from a lot of things and that was exhausting for me - it also didn't help him. He needed to learn how to manage stress in a healthy way.

This seems to be the key but, like I said, it is rare that any of them actually make changes. It's like a throwaway phrase, which can be really aggravating to people around them because they want to help. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to basically fuck off because I say - you need to make changes and take what your doc says seriously. Maybe it would be more helpful if doctors actually gave useful advice or referrals for the stress as well as the disease. I'm not convinced the stress causes the aliments, but they sure as hell contribute to their severity.

 

[cascadeco]

I was diagnosed with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) 2 years ago after more than a decade with recurring issues with my bowels. The doctor said I need to drastically change my lifestyle, but I was already living fairly healthy (running, eating fairly healthy and varied, etc.). I do have a stressy job in ICT, but I'm good at it and not willing to give that up (I don't see much alternatives either as I don't think their is such a thing as a stress free job).

There is such a thing as a stress free job, but it'll vary by each persons' personality and might take time to find. But ultimately if it's not a price you're willing to pay (ie lower income, or requiring big lifestyle changes), then you won't have your stress free job. It sounds like you've already made the decision that you're not going to give up your currently stressful job, and you don't think one that's less stressful exists. So... to me you're already deciding, in a way, that the degree of symptoms you experience with your IBS is something you're going to accept for the rest of your life. Your physical discomfort is worth the price of maintaining the job, or anything else causing more sustained chronic levels of stress.

I think our bodies are very finetuned to stress and more deeply rooted emotional states -- so in many cases I don't think there's an easy solution for reducing symptoms -- ie taking a pill. If something in our life is stressing us out, the thing causing the stress needs to be addressed. Or, if not, then a sober acknowledgment that by continuing in this vein, we are accepting the physical price. As an anecdote, I have an infj friend who was in a very stressful relationship, and the final year was even more difficult, she was trying to work through things, and take steps to make the relationship work before pulling the plug on it. Over this time, she gained quite a bit of weight (for her) -- and because of this, she began exercising more, she worked on her diet, she did all of these things that in theory should have helped her lose the weight, but she'd maybe lose a pound here or there, but nothing significant. Well, two months ago she finally broke off the engagement, her ex moved out of the house, all of that was resolved and she moved on with her life -- and she was telling me a week ago that now that it's over, she has eaten crappy food now and then, just doing exercise like normal (like she'd been doing when she'd been in the relationship), but the weight is falling off like nothing -- 20+ pounds in two months, without even trying (and yes, she's healthy / she's still eating normally ).

All of this is to say.... I know infj's in particular can be very good about being good about doing what they 'should' do, medically, and doing all of the research, and knowing all of the stuff, and trying to implement solutions, but at the end of the day if the root cause is something like a stressful job, or a stressful relationship, or simply a life/existence they are unhappy with, that's what might be causing some of the symptoms. And I know that addressing these root things and making life changes around those are not minor at all and take a lot of soul searching.

Aside from addressing stress in a more longterm sense, exploring more food sensitivities or possible allergies might help? Though I'm sure you've already thoroughly done that?

I don't have experience with IBS specifically; I have only had temporary issues with upset bowels if I'm anxious about something or emotionally upset, and know IBS is a lot worse. Good luck.

 

[Norrsken]

Count me in on being someone with bowel issues. I cut out gluten for a couple of weeks now, it seems to help a lot. I think because of the inferior Se function in the INFJ, we tend to over indulge and binge eat on things that we logically know we shouldn't eat but do anyway, as well as not eating periodically since we do not have the natural instinct of checking in with our bodies to see what it needs for it to thrive. Connecting our Ni with our Se is the biggest obstacle we need to face head on, and when we are under stress, we do not eat well and we hold all of our stress in our lower body regions, which can manifest conditions from IBS to leg cramps to stomach aches and so on.

Did you try meeting up with a qualified nutritionist? They are definitely more helpful than the average family physician.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

This can absolutely be related to stress. If there is a correlation with NF types, I would suspect it would be the stress connection. Society is incredibly harsh on NFs. I've seen many educational and work environments almost destroy NFs.

How stress wreaks havoc on your gut - and what to do about it

 

[93JC]

@ this thread

 

[meowington]

Thanks a lot to you all for the feedback so far.

Or, if not, then a sober acknowledgment that by continuing in this vein, we are accepting the physical price.

Yeah I truely understand & acknowledge what you are saying. The longer I struggle the more it bottles down to what you wrote, ie. if my job is the root cause that that is where I need to make a change.
A few months ago I talked to a government run organization that specializes in career changes. Especially for people from management or sales or other stressful functions. They said similar things to what you said. They suggested a job change to what they call a horizontal career (chosing a job with not much change or career possibilities, but less stress and also less pay). The thing for me is not that the pay. If it would make me more stressfree (or more directly, free from bowel issues) I would do that immediately. The thing is I have doubts that I actually will experience less stress in other jobs, especially being an INFJ I have the idea I can get stressed up about anything. I also talked to a psychologist months ago and she adviced against changing carreer : she told me she sees lots of women for instance in management jobs who say "I want to give it all up and become a cashier at grossery shop". But she says that people will also have stress there and probably even more because if you're on the lower side of the corporate ladder you have even less to say about how you want to manage your job (decision rights or something is what she called it).
I guess I'm afraid of jumping in the dark a bit, which you also mentioned. There's no turning back once you give up a career you worked so hard for through the years.
My current job is also getting better lately : I'm very much appreciated, I have my own office, my colleagues think I'm a wizard and generally love me, but it all comes with lots of technical responsibility.
Anyway, could go on a lot about all the good and bad, but your input was very much appreciated.

Good thing is : I have 3 weeks of holiday : starting in 2 minutes Lots of time to settle down and think things through.

And of course it's all relative : I imaginge people with Crohn's disease have a much harder time. But I personally do need to manage this cause it steadily gets worse.

Did you try meeting up with a qualified nutritionist? They are definitely more helpful than the average family physician.

Yeah thanks. My wife told me a few times to see her dietician (is that a word in english ? I basically mean her nutritionist). Perhaps now is the time to finally do that and see what pointers I can get there.

- - - Updated - - -

@ this thread

WTF ?

 

[Fidelia]

I do think a lot of stress goes inwards for nfjs. I'm finding it helpful to have some physical outlet, like exercise for it. Being able to talk about things relieves a lot of stress, provided it is to the right person. Also, I'm realizing that my emotions are something that I am frequently only vaguely aware of and they aren't well categorized nor am I sure of the extent to which they're affecting me. I think it's worth taking some time every day to review that, kind of like keeping a food journal can reveal patterns that we are unaware of or areas that need attention. The other part is taking time to put more in the bank physically and emotionally - reading, exercising, socializing, doing hobbies, cleaning up/maintaining work or living space, so that there are more reserves to keep you from going into overdraft.

 

[meowington]

@ this thread

Seriously, why ? The shitty subject, pun intended ?

 

[SearchingforPeace]

It is definitely a NFJ curse.

Stress is a factor.

More importantly is developing better processing and boundaries. NFJs take in all the emotions around them....and deal poorly with their own. As they get better at both separating others emotions from their own and better at recognizing and processing their own, the gut issues can withdraw.

I have had so many tests re: this issue and nothing has ever been found. It is all in my emotional state..... is there any wonder I am searching for peace......

 

[PeaceBaby]

Have you been tested for celiac disease? Get that done please. Don't go gluten-free before you do this.

 

[1487610420]

just change type

 

[Fidelia]

Yeah, when I'm at my worst, I've sometimes thought that I had stomach flu only to discover it was stress once the cause is taken away. I also have celiac disease and thyroid issues, caused by leaky gut, which is exacerbated by stress.

I think my biggest problems are the ones Searching mentioned. Much of my stress can't be compartmentalized and is chronic. I'm not a worrier, but it is hard to know how to process the sadness and frustration that is ongoing, can't be changed and is too deep even for tears anymore because the interconnection of other people to each other affects multiple facets of not only my own but others lives. These aren't petty issues and can't be disengaged from because children are involved. I don't deal well with unresolved conflict either, but when mental illness or unwillingness to address problems (or even perceived problems) is present, I can only leave the door open. But it still takes a toll.

I think my boundaries are in decent place, but it's very hard to keep my own emotions from being mixed with other people's, even if I'm consciously aware of it, and I dont feel like I have a way to gauge when I am dealing with too heavy a load till it's too late. It feels fine, until it isn't.

After some years of chronic health issues, I'm realizing I have to get serious about making some changes in my response and recognize that not having a way to excrete the bad emotions is as toxic as the effects of being physically constipated for years on end.

 

[Fidelia]

Have you been tested for celiac disease? Get that done please. Don't go gluten-free before you do this.

Seconded. IBS is often misdiagnosed and a lot of drs still don't check for celiac. The reason not to go off gluten before is that they cannot test it without you regularly having gluten. I quit speculatively after the antibody test and couldn't bear to go back on after being off so I could get a biopsy doneand confirm. Given symptoms and family history, my doctor was quite sure it is celiac though.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

@ this thread

I thought it was a good thread.

Lots of people have bowel issues these days with diets being lower in fiber, people being less active and stress at work. What foods were you told to stay away from?

 

[meowington]

Have you been tested for celiac disease? Get that done please. Don't go gluten-free before you do this.

Thx

Well the doctors I've seen and family relatives with practically the same issue all basically say what [MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION] said (thanks for the reminder) : that there is nothing to find and it is related to emotional state. They didn't even find a colonoscopy necessary. And symptoms do calm down every now -without diet changes- and then and everything turns back to normal and life is all shiny again
I'm just worried -as usual- that things will get really bad. Some people with IBS have it far worse than I have : horror stories about incontinence etc. I just want to deal with that before it ever gets that bad in my old day or sooner.
When I saw a astroenologist 2 years ago, I was eating gluten free for 2 months already and symptoms were still there. So he said : go ahead and eat pizza and stuff again, which I gladly did. He ruled out celiac for reasons unknown to me. He didn't do much testing anyway, just listened and performed an echo on my bowels, which turned out pretty normal. How is celiac determined by the way ?

Another thing is that the line of possible causes outside, well, just being an INFJ, is endless : food intolerances like celiac, fibromyalgya etc. that I stopped worrying about that. It's so hard to determin and it only turns me into the worst hypochondriac. Which in turn makes my physical issues worse. Like a poop loop Sorry for being so graphic folks

Just the fact that INFJs and IBS seem to have a strong corelation really makes me think it's an emotional issue. And as mentioned, we, INFJs, are not always very well in tune with our own emotions.
It just gets old dealing with this, because overall I think I'm fairly levelheaded and still symptoms come and go.

 

[ceecee]

How is celiac determined by the way ?

You must be eating gluten first. They do the tTG-IgA blood test and depending on the results, will do a endoscopic biopsy to confirm. They also do stool testing.

 

[meowington]

Seconded. IBS is often misdiagnosed and a lot of drs still don't check for celiac. The reason not to go off gluten before is that they cannot test it without you regularly having gluten. I quit speculatively after the antibody test and couldn't bear to go back on after being off so I could get a biopsy doneand confirm. Given symptoms and family history, my doctor was quite sure it is celiac though.

Thx. Please read my previous reply to PeaceBaby.

Does that mean you totally live gluten free ? Then you have my upmost respect. Cause in those 2 months I went glutenfree I found out how hard it is to stick to that sort of diet.

I thought it was a good thread.

Thx. 93JC seems the kind of guy who laughs at people in wheelchairs. Shouldn't have said that, but I did.

What foods were you told to stay away from?

None. Gastroentologist specifically said I shouldn't skip anything and said to focus on stress management instead.

I told him I smoke pot in small amounts to calm down. He encouraged that. lol

 

[PeaceBaby]

Thx. Please read my previous reply to PeaceBaby.

Does that mean you totally live gluten free ? Then you have my upmost respect. Cause in those 2 months I went glutenfree I found out how hard it is to stick to that sort of diet.

I lived a decade of my adult life with the dx of IBS, and many Drs telling me to "relax", "lessen the stress of your life" etc etc. After a bowel infection acquired during travel however, my IBS transitioned from intermittent to unmanageable. My gastroenterologist told me that after such an infection the flora and fauna of my bowels were likely permanently changed and I could be like this for the rest of my life. That was an answer I wasn't prepared to live with, so I also took matters more into my own hands to find improvements. It was during food allergy testing when I tested allergic to rye, wheat and barley that the light-bulb went off for me. I went from needing to know where a bathroom was within a 5 minute radius of my location (during one of the most stressful years of my life I might add) to not giving diarrhea a second-thought. Going GF has been literally that life-changing.

It is very possible you did not notice such a difference because you were not 100% compliant to GF. Gluten is in many prepared foods you would not expect, and even a small amount in your diet can affect your bowels. There's no such thing as 99% being good enough. You must be as perfect as possible in your dietary choices.

I've been GF for 14 years now and honestly, it's way easier and better than having diarrhea several times a day. Not only that, many other aspects of my health improved, even aspects you would not expect such as my dental health. I still do have a difficult digestion, and would say I am 80% of my best, but that is SO preferable I'd be a fool to ever cheat. When I do accidentally glutenize myself, such as times where I might take a chance on eating something in a restaurant and trusting it's not contaminated, I am ill for a few days, it's that dramatic.

As [MENTION=4050]ceecee[/MENTION] said, go to the Dr, get the blood test done. Make sure you're not GF before-hand, as the (possible) antibodies in your blood will be lessened in concentration and you want to be on your typical diet for the blood test to be most efficacious. Good luck!