Ursa
New member
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2015
- Messages
- 739
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 8w7
I am happily scheduled to pal around with an old INFJ buddy who recently moved back to my area. I am really excited to see her and catch up with her, but every time we meet, we basically sit on our rear ends and have a conversation punctuated heavily with awkward pauses. I know that she values me, because she otherwise would not ask me to spend time with her.
I value her too, and I worry that perhaps I don't understand her needs as an INFJ, and that she is too shy to ask me to honor her needs (whatever those may be). I know that when I ask her what she wants to do, she says she will do what I want to do. My ISFJ mother says that a lot, too, but my mother says that to be polite and to not make waves, which tends to only serve to make our interactions more awkward and less balanced.
Here are some questions I have that may help me understand better:
1. INFJs, when (and why) do you tend to have awkward pauses?
2. How do you relate to extroverts, and how do you want them to relate to you?
3. What activities do you like to do in one-on-one time? Would you rather talk?
4. How do you like people to communicate with you?
5. (Any topic you want to add that you think is relevant.)
Any help would be appreciated. I absolutely adore XNFJs, but sometimes I can't understand them on my own.
I value her too, and I worry that perhaps I don't understand her needs as an INFJ, and that she is too shy to ask me to honor her needs (whatever those may be). I know that when I ask her what she wants to do, she says she will do what I want to do. My ISFJ mother says that a lot, too, but my mother says that to be polite and to not make waves, which tends to only serve to make our interactions more awkward and less balanced.
Here are some questions I have that may help me understand better:
1. INFJs, when (and why) do you tend to have awkward pauses?
2. How do you relate to extroverts, and how do you want them to relate to you?
3. What activities do you like to do in one-on-one time? Would you rather talk?
4. How do you like people to communicate with you?
5. (Any topic you want to add that you think is relevant.)
Any help would be appreciated. I absolutely adore XNFJs, but sometimes I can't understand them on my own.