I thought a lot about this topic and responses. I think with me its particular situation, which i didnt state, it's more family/friends-issue than only rasistic.
They'll always be your family, but you don't always have to live there.
I live in apartment building, 7 floors, about 150 people in building. I live here from when i was 3 years old. When I was kid I was basically friends with most of my neighbors, and was attached to many, the same with my extended family. Most of those people are racists. I wasnt aware of that for like first 13 years of my life, so I liked them. I didnt have a clue what's happening. I still get surprised when I hear something like that about someone who I liked, when I hear the most friendly of my neighbors that I spent half of my childhood at his house, was walking around with gun and searching for Serbs to kill them. Seems like most people arent really normal. That's disturbing.
They hid their true nature from you when you were younger.
"Spare the lambs the evil of our ways...until they are older and realize we are right" they probably though to themselves subconsciously. :rolli: Hypocrites. They've always pissed me off.
And this is why I am confused how to act, because I grew up now, and I cant go to what was before, but I cant totally ignore people I had connection with. I need to resolve this soon because it's underlying issue for many years. I find it hard to dismiss people as idiots.
At some point in your life, for your own preservation and sanity, and for the preservation of your self respect, you are going to need to learn how to carve sick, toxic people out of your life completely. Either tell them explicitly what your issue is with them, or just cease all contact with them. The type of person and the type of conflict you have with them is the determining factor as to which of the two techniques to use.
For people that are potentially violent, tell them less, in fact tell them nothing, they will use it against you. Just slowly cease your contact with them and change your schedule and move if you have to if it is that bad. Most people you can just tell them what your problem is with them, that you wish them well, but that you need space and do not wish to continue relations as you have in the past, as you are trying to accomplish your life goals, and need clarity of mind. Something like that. I have told people
"Do not speak to me, do not call me, and do not ever look at me agin. Do you understand?" That usually gets the point across if you are really pissed.
A friend of mine is Serbian. He is from Yugoslavia. He is a carpenter. His brother was locked up for a year for participating in a civil rights march on the street. He said some people just end up "missing" and are never seen again. That is really fucked up. Have you ever considered moving? Like get a job with a company that operates in many different countries and just get the hell out of there? My Dad left his hometown because there was a crappy economy, and alot of the people were ignorant. He still visited his family, and still deos, but he left and made a good life for himself. Everyone has that option. If you are truly miserable in your environment, you will not thrive, you will not flourish, as you are not at peace with the world around you.
At any rate, I wish you the best of luck. Whenever there is contention and the possibility of violence, say less to people about your beliefs, and not more. Take care.
-Halla