I fantasize that me and Ayn Rand are superheroes and we go around beating up hobos.
LMAO! I haven't laughed this hard since... yesterday!
I fantasize that me and Ayn Rand are superheroes and we go around beating up hobos.
I am very melancholy and just realized now that i was wrong when i called it nostalgia because the things i dwell on never actually happened. otherwise, i get very dark thoughts, but i tend to assume that low serotonin levels are more responsible for those and the violent nightmares than my personality type.
I'm very melancholy, and my thoughts are usually about things that I imagine rather than things that have happened (though I get those too).
For example, I was 10 minutes away from going out to Valentine's day dinner when my mom ran up to my room and told me my dad had fallen down and she was having trouble getting him up. He had had quad bypass surgery over a week before so he was still recovering, so I went down and helped him sit up before realizing his left side was paralyzed. Throughout the whole ordeal I was completely calm, and in control of myself. And when I called my GF to cancel my plans and simply told her "Hey, my dad had a stroke, they took him to the hospital and stuff, but if you want to come over or something you still can."
Sometimes I have thought about how easy it would be to just grab a kitchen knife and kill my family. One time I even ended up questioning my ability to control my own actions. It was pretty weird - kinda OCD where you must do a certain thing, even though you do not want to do it. But I quickly turned off my imagination and that made the silly feeling go away.
I have similar thoughts when walking down the street "There isn't anything but willpower between walking down the street - just like I'm doing - and assaulting a random person". Then I jump into an imaginative scene where I assault and kill a stranger, which is sort of satisfying.
I think I would be willing to kill if
1: I could get away with it.
2: The victim wasn't someone I know
3: It would be professional - like in Hostel.
- but I'm not sure, as I'm afraid of how it would change me.
Those are some of my darkest thoughts. I have some nasty ones too (involving me being able to stop time or being invisible), but those aren't interesting.
- but I'm not sure, as I'm afraid of how it would change me.
Those are some of my darkest thoughts. I have some nasty ones too (involving me being able to stop time or being invisible), but those aren't interesting.
Wow, I'm not going to lie and say that wasn't disturbing for me to read. One question - what does that compulsion feel like? Is it that you want to see if you can do it, or that you want to feel the blades physically pierce or that you want someone dead? I'm just trying to understand the thought process or the internal dialogue - basically, why is this appealing?
Wow, I'm not going to lie and say that wasn't disturbing for me to read. One question - what does that compulsion feel like? Is it that you want to see if you can do it, or that you want to feel the blades physically pierce or that you want someone dead? I'm just trying to understand the thought process or the internal dialogue - basically, why is this appealing?
How do you think it would change you?
They sound hella interesting, do you mind sharing some?
I've had similar thoughts, but it's never a desire. It's more like "Hmm, it would be so easy to just run over this pedestrian" or "I wonder what would happen if [insert morbid thought here]." It's never really a huge urge, more like an extrapolation of imagination. It's like whenever I walk into a bank, I think about robbing it, or think about disarming the robber in front of me and being the hero.
It must be tough to love someone and still have those conflicting thoughts...
I don't place much weight on those thoughts anymore, so it's awwwwwright.
I've been thinking of ways to torture the monster that raped a close friend of mine a couple weeks ago.
Disapearing without warning when I was younger is something I have done several times. It's only fun while the money lasts.I'd say mine is to walk away from everything. One day, just sell all my things, take my passport and move to someplace like Dublin or Sydney. Abandon my job, my family, and my friends, its almost scary how willing I'd be to do that. I could have a marvelous time there masquerading abroad as the 'dark foreigner on the run with a tortured past'.