Shalimar
New member
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 12
- MBTI Type
- ISTP
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
"I felt disdain for others."
Unhealty 5 often fell disdain for others.
"I've often felt like I lacked something that would enable me to participate in the world and relationships as easily as everyone else."
5 fell they need an area of expertise in order to be able to interact with the world so they isolate thenselves and keep studying till they can feel they know enough to do so.
"I have noticed a pretty constant buzz of fear in the background of my life. That fear is not necessarily of anything specific, although I do find plenty of things to worry about and am often keeping a running tally of things I need to do/think about/be concerned about. I often think about something that has been on my to-do list with a sudden jolt of fear, even if taking care of that thing is 100% on schedule and it will probably all work out. I am still nervous about its existence, and its importance, and the potential threat that messing it up or forgetting it presents. Those little jolts of fear keep me motivated to handle the urgent things that I need to (but only up to a point)."
5 also deal with constant fear especially if they have a 6 wing but unlike the 6 fear of possible treats it's fear of failure and thus incompetence.
"I've also encountered the idea that 6's have a hard time making decisions or reaching conclusions that they feel confident about. I strongly identify with that. I often doubt my decisions and feel a sense of fear after making decisions because I regret being locked into something I am uncertain about. I have reached a point in my life, however, where I feel that I need to be making choices in order to get anywhere in life. I've done a lot of research and exploration to try to make choices that at least seem like safe bets or provide me with enough breathing room to escape."
Doing research in order to deal with fear is 5 trait, 6 go after support instead.
"The biggest reason is how often I choose to numb out stressful things. The best example of this is probably my work environment where I have been struggling to deal with incredible anger and frustration over the past year or so. I feel that my exemplary work has been overlooked by the people who matter, and that I am often forced to do the work of others because of a broken system. Now I, as well as several other coworkers, have expressed our frustration on numerous occasions in numerous ways. But things have not changed. To preserve my sanity, I have withdrawn probably to an extreme extent. I prefer to keep to myself and do my work, but avoid interacting with other people who are sources of anger/frustration for me. I tend to pop in my headphones and take frequent breaks between the BS to browse the internet/pinterest/other mindless pleasurable things that help me get through the day. I also tend to ignore stressful things as much as I possibly can. When I get home, I typically need extensive periods of time to zone out with tv/books/the internet/video games to recharge and decompress. That can mean that I often put off regular chores, or fail to keep on top of important things that I know won't have catastrophic consequences. Bills are often paid late because there is typically no penalty, or an acceptable penalty I can pay to preserve the peace by not thinking about it. I manage to stay mostly on top of schoolwork and other extremely important priorities/concerns (things related to my dog's health, grades, etc), but I'll avoid mentally taxing things related to goals I am pursuing (that thing I should have done early in preparation for applying to grad programs, healthcare appointments, etc) so long as they are not "urgent." I will also try to distract myself as much as possible from experiencing intensely negative emotions that stem from circumstances in my own life. For example, after my most recent break-up, I alternated between periods of intense crying/emotional wallowing and actively distracting myself by cleaning my apartment, grocery shopping, playing a game with a friend. Anything that served to level me out emotionally without requiring a lot of mental effort. I do not like to remain in a state of despair, pain, or self-loathing. I try to manage those emotions and keep moving forward. I do occasionally allow myself periods of wallowing, but they are not prolonged or crippling like they might have been in the past."
This looks like a 5 going to 7, numbing the pain is 7 behavior 9 simply refuse to even "notice" the problem.
"Sloth. I feel that I have been a victim of my own sloth in the past. During college, I felt very motivated by my goals at the time and I performed to a high level. After college, I became overwhelmed by responsibility and the burden of making some important decisions in life, and I wasted quite a bit of time being completely inert in life. My days were spent working a dead-end job that required little of me while living at my parents' home and spending all of my free time on video games. I avoided making any decisions or taking any risks and just lived for the daily pleasures I could get for probably 2 years before I was given an ultimatum that kicked my life in gear again."
More 5 going to 7.
"I am uncertain whether fear or anger is the bigger fixation for me. I have a great deal of suppressed anger and resentment, but I do not feel that I am asleep to that anger. I feel that I often express that anger, though I try to express it in a way that masks the real degree of my anger unless I am pushed to the point of explosion. I have been told that I can come across as silently seething and simmering when I am angry. I usually try to reign it in at work, but I rarely have a problem with expressing it to intimates. I know that I often give the impression of being friendly, and have been told that my anger comes as an intense surprise for others as a result. One acquaintance made a point to say that she thought it was "scary" when I was angry, even without me verbally or physically expressing that anger directly."
5 going to 8 especially the bolded parts.
"I would say that I do look for silver linings but it's less trying to turn every specific situation into a positive situation, and moreso a deeply held belief that I will figure something out; some way of coping with or responding to a situation, and that I will persevere."
Deep held belief in ones own ability to figure something out is 5 trait.
Also 5 deply fear feeling overhelmed so they save their energy A LOT.
Unhealty 5 often fell disdain for others.
"I've often felt like I lacked something that would enable me to participate in the world and relationships as easily as everyone else."
5 fell they need an area of expertise in order to be able to interact with the world so they isolate thenselves and keep studying till they can feel they know enough to do so.
"I have noticed a pretty constant buzz of fear in the background of my life. That fear is not necessarily of anything specific, although I do find plenty of things to worry about and am often keeping a running tally of things I need to do/think about/be concerned about. I often think about something that has been on my to-do list with a sudden jolt of fear, even if taking care of that thing is 100% on schedule and it will probably all work out. I am still nervous about its existence, and its importance, and the potential threat that messing it up or forgetting it presents. Those little jolts of fear keep me motivated to handle the urgent things that I need to (but only up to a point)."
5 also deal with constant fear especially if they have a 6 wing but unlike the 6 fear of possible treats it's fear of failure and thus incompetence.
"I've also encountered the idea that 6's have a hard time making decisions or reaching conclusions that they feel confident about. I strongly identify with that. I often doubt my decisions and feel a sense of fear after making decisions because I regret being locked into something I am uncertain about. I have reached a point in my life, however, where I feel that I need to be making choices in order to get anywhere in life. I've done a lot of research and exploration to try to make choices that at least seem like safe bets or provide me with enough breathing room to escape."
Doing research in order to deal with fear is 5 trait, 6 go after support instead.
"The biggest reason is how often I choose to numb out stressful things. The best example of this is probably my work environment where I have been struggling to deal with incredible anger and frustration over the past year or so. I feel that my exemplary work has been overlooked by the people who matter, and that I am often forced to do the work of others because of a broken system. Now I, as well as several other coworkers, have expressed our frustration on numerous occasions in numerous ways. But things have not changed. To preserve my sanity, I have withdrawn probably to an extreme extent. I prefer to keep to myself and do my work, but avoid interacting with other people who are sources of anger/frustration for me. I tend to pop in my headphones and take frequent breaks between the BS to browse the internet/pinterest/other mindless pleasurable things that help me get through the day. I also tend to ignore stressful things as much as I possibly can. When I get home, I typically need extensive periods of time to zone out with tv/books/the internet/video games to recharge and decompress. That can mean that I often put off regular chores, or fail to keep on top of important things that I know won't have catastrophic consequences. Bills are often paid late because there is typically no penalty, or an acceptable penalty I can pay to preserve the peace by not thinking about it. I manage to stay mostly on top of schoolwork and other extremely important priorities/concerns (things related to my dog's health, grades, etc), but I'll avoid mentally taxing things related to goals I am pursuing (that thing I should have done early in preparation for applying to grad programs, healthcare appointments, etc) so long as they are not "urgent." I will also try to distract myself as much as possible from experiencing intensely negative emotions that stem from circumstances in my own life. For example, after my most recent break-up, I alternated between periods of intense crying/emotional wallowing and actively distracting myself by cleaning my apartment, grocery shopping, playing a game with a friend. Anything that served to level me out emotionally without requiring a lot of mental effort. I do not like to remain in a state of despair, pain, or self-loathing. I try to manage those emotions and keep moving forward. I do occasionally allow myself periods of wallowing, but they are not prolonged or crippling like they might have been in the past."
This looks like a 5 going to 7, numbing the pain is 7 behavior 9 simply refuse to even "notice" the problem.
"Sloth. I feel that I have been a victim of my own sloth in the past. During college, I felt very motivated by my goals at the time and I performed to a high level. After college, I became overwhelmed by responsibility and the burden of making some important decisions in life, and I wasted quite a bit of time being completely inert in life. My days were spent working a dead-end job that required little of me while living at my parents' home and spending all of my free time on video games. I avoided making any decisions or taking any risks and just lived for the daily pleasures I could get for probably 2 years before I was given an ultimatum that kicked my life in gear again."
More 5 going to 7.
"I am uncertain whether fear or anger is the bigger fixation for me. I have a great deal of suppressed anger and resentment, but I do not feel that I am asleep to that anger. I feel that I often express that anger, though I try to express it in a way that masks the real degree of my anger unless I am pushed to the point of explosion. I have been told that I can come across as silently seething and simmering when I am angry. I usually try to reign it in at work, but I rarely have a problem with expressing it to intimates. I know that I often give the impression of being friendly, and have been told that my anger comes as an intense surprise for others as a result. One acquaintance made a point to say that she thought it was "scary" when I was angry, even without me verbally or physically expressing that anger directly."
5 going to 8 especially the bolded parts.
"I would say that I do look for silver linings but it's less trying to turn every specific situation into a positive situation, and moreso a deeply held belief that I will figure something out; some way of coping with or responding to a situation, and that I will persevere."
Deep held belief in ones own ability to figure something out is 5 trait.
Also 5 deply fear feeling overhelmed so they save their energy A LOT.