Emperor Enigma
Wandering...
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2013
- Messages
- 261
- Enneagram
- 3w4
So, after extensive research on cognitive functions and Socionics, I've arrived at the conclusion that I'm an irrational logical intuitive, an NT with dominant perceiving. I tried to read Jung's descriptions but they were too esoteric and archaic, my possible ADHD couldn't keep up with them either. I read Lenore's descriptions and while I did find myself being inclined towards Ni, I'm still unsure. In general, I relate more to Ni than Ne. Converging instead of diverging.
However, the only thing stopping me from completely dismissing Ne or ENTP is Si. For some reason, even though Socionics or even Jung never alluded to it, Si is associated with the past. And here's the problem. I have an exceptional long term memory (a poor short term one though) and I am fairly nostalgic. I'll occasionally listen to songs just to get reminded of my past. Sometimes, if I'm stuck in a predicament, I'll take a pessimistic attitude towards my present and start dwelling on how the old days were so much better, even though it's futile. And then there's getting emotionally attached to objects... although, I think this is not entirely the case with me. It might seem as if I'm emotionally attached to an object in scenarios where I'm asked to throw them away but the truth is, I'm reluctant to do that because I believe the object can still be of importance in the future. That's why I also tend to be a pack-rat. Unless an object is completely worthless (like an old comb or something), I would rather retain its possession because it might be useful to me later. I've observed that my mother, probably an ESFJ, is the opposite. She would ruthlessly throw objects away if she thinks they are useless in the present. The future doesn't matter, if I can't use it now, it's useless. That's her thought process. Both my parents are Si valuers and they would not hesitate to jettison anything that's not considered useful in the present, I've noticed.
And yet, sometimes I can refuse to let go of an object just because I might be attached to it (now that I think about it, it was more of a symbolic reaction, as if the change in my belongings was a sign that my life was inevitably changing; this is actually related to that example I mentioned earlier, when I was going through harsh times and thinking about how great my past days used to be, it was like reality slapping me in the face and saying, "Your life is changing, for good or bad, it doesn't matter, it's inevitable, now man up!"). For example, if the bed I'm currently sitting on right now were to suddenly get changed, I might be just a little disturbed. Why? I don't know. I couldn't care less about the bed. It's just a commodity. Hell, it's on the verge of breaking because I have a juvenile tendency to jump to my bed rather than just lay down on it. Of course, I'll get over it in a matter of days. Maybe I wouldn't care at all. A few months ago, my mobile phone was broken. I was indifferent to that, save for a certain amount of frustration because I had stored a lot of songs in it (before remembering I had backup, as a matter of fact I was quite glad because that phone sucked and I had been thinking of getting a better one). Hmmm... perhaps that phase where I actually refused to let go of the furniture in my house was just a peculiarity, probably related to depression.
Thing is, I would drop all my uncertainties and declare myself as at least an INxJ if it wasn't for the fact that I see what could possibly be Si in myself too. I'm confused. I would appreciate if anyone would take the initiative to describe Si, especially in relation to Ni. Oh and of course, the differences between ENTP and INTJ.
PS - Just in case, I'm also willing to consider ENFP and INFJ.
However, the only thing stopping me from completely dismissing Ne or ENTP is Si. For some reason, even though Socionics or even Jung never alluded to it, Si is associated with the past. And here's the problem. I have an exceptional long term memory (a poor short term one though) and I am fairly nostalgic. I'll occasionally listen to songs just to get reminded of my past. Sometimes, if I'm stuck in a predicament, I'll take a pessimistic attitude towards my present and start dwelling on how the old days were so much better, even though it's futile. And then there's getting emotionally attached to objects... although, I think this is not entirely the case with me. It might seem as if I'm emotionally attached to an object in scenarios where I'm asked to throw them away but the truth is, I'm reluctant to do that because I believe the object can still be of importance in the future. That's why I also tend to be a pack-rat. Unless an object is completely worthless (like an old comb or something), I would rather retain its possession because it might be useful to me later. I've observed that my mother, probably an ESFJ, is the opposite. She would ruthlessly throw objects away if she thinks they are useless in the present. The future doesn't matter, if I can't use it now, it's useless. That's her thought process. Both my parents are Si valuers and they would not hesitate to jettison anything that's not considered useful in the present, I've noticed.
And yet, sometimes I can refuse to let go of an object just because I might be attached to it (now that I think about it, it was more of a symbolic reaction, as if the change in my belongings was a sign that my life was inevitably changing; this is actually related to that example I mentioned earlier, when I was going through harsh times and thinking about how great my past days used to be, it was like reality slapping me in the face and saying, "Your life is changing, for good or bad, it doesn't matter, it's inevitable, now man up!"). For example, if the bed I'm currently sitting on right now were to suddenly get changed, I might be just a little disturbed. Why? I don't know. I couldn't care less about the bed. It's just a commodity. Hell, it's on the verge of breaking because I have a juvenile tendency to jump to my bed rather than just lay down on it. Of course, I'll get over it in a matter of days. Maybe I wouldn't care at all. A few months ago, my mobile phone was broken. I was indifferent to that, save for a certain amount of frustration because I had stored a lot of songs in it (before remembering I had backup, as a matter of fact I was quite glad because that phone sucked and I had been thinking of getting a better one). Hmmm... perhaps that phase where I actually refused to let go of the furniture in my house was just a peculiarity, probably related to depression.
Thing is, I would drop all my uncertainties and declare myself as at least an INxJ if it wasn't for the fact that I see what could possibly be Si in myself too. I'm confused. I would appreciate if anyone would take the initiative to describe Si, especially in relation to Ni. Oh and of course, the differences between ENTP and INTJ.
PS - Just in case, I'm also willing to consider ENFP and INFJ.