aw, no, don't think ENFPs are going to discard you like a used battery. i'm so not like that at all... my average relationship/crush timespan is about 4 years if it gives you any idea of how attached to people i actually get... i've seriously (as in could spend the rest of my life with) loved 1 person, ever, and that was after about 3 years, have romantically loved 2 others, and have had crushes on 4 others. and i kinda still love all of those people, in a way. when i fall, i don't just fall hard, i fall for a rather long time...
:blushing:
I haven't read all of the replies, so sorry if I repeat something.
I've recently been cast under "the spell" of an ENFP. His adorableness is like a drug to me. His big grin, playful attitude with everyone, goofy sense of humor, and don't even get me started on his laugh...
I honestly don't think, and I can probably say I know for a fact, that he doesn't see me as more than a friend. I kind of accept that, because I'm afraid that if I actually did get his attention one day, he would get bored with me very easily.
I guess my question is, how often does that happen? And, I guess, do I have a chance? Or should I just resolve that because I'm not a party animal like the ESFx's in life I won't keep an ENFP's attention?
aww. that's sweet. i think you absolutely have a chance!! i mean, just personally, i might amp up around party people, but what i really appreciate in life is someone to help ground me and balance me. my personal energy level is usually not a matter of interest in a person - as Pe doms, ENFPs will tend to reflect their environments, so we probably appear really excited around high-energy people, and more low-key around lower-energy people. but in the long term, i want security, stability, safety...
@ bold - what makes you think this?
from what i have noticed(and this may not apply to all enfps), they want someone to kinda calm them down and someone who they can just be with when they run out of energy, but someone who can also keep up to them at least sometimes(think it like walking a dog who wants to run all the time, you need to calm him down by holding the leash firmly, but you also have to jog with him so that he wont get bored and let him run freely at times). they want deep conversations. i think infp would suit better for these. BUT you really have to keep your emo crap to minimum, because they seem to seek balance for this also and maybe most importantly for this. stop doubting yourself or you will never make it.
all of this is very true.
even the leash metaphor, loathe though i am to admit it, lol. i really appreciate someone who can tell me to cut the crap when i'm running away with myself. i'll be the sunshine, but also i need someone who can be a bastion when i'm a firestorm. someone who's not afraid to deal with my the intensity and help me see that things aren't really as scary as i feel like they are. the problem in a lot of relationships for me is that people love my warmth when it's sunshine but take off when it's firestorm. it's not that i'm not trying to work on taming the storm, and it's not that i don't feel like i'm not responsible for my negativity, but to some extent, everyone carries negativity somewhere and that's just how mine manifests. i need someone who can deal with that.
but like INTP points out - you're never gonna make it if you don't give yourself a shot
Maybe the problem isn't people falling for you - maybe the problem is that you have a fear of intimacy. When you see someone actually respond to you, you panic and need to withdraw.
Or maybe not...I do believe that ENFP's are very seductive.
was this to the OP? maybe this is true for some ENFPs but not for me, and not for another ENFP i know fairly well. personally i like intimacy a lot and it doesn't make me either panic or run. i think i am just hesitant to express negativity and get easily swept up in a moment, so others can interpret that as me being really into them, when i'm not as into them as they think i am. but it's not that i've shut them out or anything, it's just that they've overestimated how much i really like them at the time. that doesn't mean i can't fall in love with them. it just is a misread on their part, and perhaps poor communication on mine.