defection from the whaaaat?!
Well, believe it or not I tested as an INTP and started hanging out at INTPc. It's been a long road.
Hah.. my story is different than yours, but all your capped letters are relevant. And you did mention the thing I was wondering most about, becoming ultra rational.
I'm convinced I'm ENFP because all the functions make sense to me, and so does the profile, except maybe on a toned down scale. Other types I've tried on I've found partially bewildering.
I grew up in this cultish religion that basically makes you wear suits way too much, get nice clean haircuts and everybody snitches on everyone else if they aren't conducting themselves in a 'Godly' manner. I left them and then I married at 17 to a very uncommunicative older than me lady who put a lot of pressure on me to be like her dad. Her family is very conservative. I actually was out watching a movie with a friend (male), which was a very rare occurance, and one of her aunts happened to be in the same shopping mall and 'tsk-tked' me for being out without my wife and had disdainful things to say to the in-laws.
I'm just barely getting perspective on it, but I became hyper rational. I didn't trust myself and my impulses, and everything I did was very empty and dictated by 'shoulds'. I'm married, so I should plan on a family, I should get a career, I should get a house. So, I ended up at 19 starting in a very conservative company as a computer programmer, owning a house and having my first kid. I wasn't feeling any of it and spent the next decade trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
It's great that you had close friends to help you out. Happy endings are what it's all about.