G
Glycerine
Guest
It's a sad sight to see.
Yeah, this is the other problem: getting put off yet again by shitty responses. Damned if you do, damned if you don't...
It's a sad sight to see.
No I wasn't always cynical. In my memory I was a wide-eyed, naive, idealist as a child, but after your soul gets crushed repeatedly over time, cynicism starts to creep in.
I think cynicism for INFPs allows us the best of both worlds: you get to express your idealistic side and bemoan society's failure to live up to your ideal, while at the same time avoiding coming across as some pathetic sad sap. I guess what I'm saying is, it's not just a reflection of our attitude to life but also is a socially acceptable form of authentic expression of self.
Cynicism + sarcastic humour is even more epic, because it's just generally awesome, and because, in reality, I'm only ever half joking; although people rarely work this out.
I suppose what conditioned me was the sort of derision I encountered in response to my intense earnestness when I was younger. Cynical humour seemed to help with social interaction, and at the same time it allowed me to remain authentic to my inner self. I suppose I latched onto something like that; something that helped me connect and communicate my thoughts and feelings to others in a socially appropriate way. Unfortunately I've taken it too far and now I struggle to go back to earnestness.
An example? I suppose I'm not good at telling the people close to me how much I care about them, so I engage in cynical banter with them instead. Like I said, I don't know how to switch back to heartfelt expression. I have been trying to work on this lately though...
So other INFPs do this too? Interesting.Wow it's like you looked in my head.
And the bold,
(I end up doing this for my own entertainment sometimes... How far can I go before they finally realize I actually mean it? Seems to inevitably happen when I'm interacting with family.)
Yeah, I was a horrible teenager, especially ages 15-18. I was rather moody, bitter, and negative, which, I suppose reflected my frustration with my inability to freely express myself and properly connect with people.Again, I could have written this...
I was so intense and passionate as a child... people's reactions were almost always like a glass of ice water thrown in my face. It wasn't pleasant, cynicism became a kind of defense. Protecting the vulnerable parts of me. Over my teenage years I felt like I was losing myself and became extremely depressed, I either couldn't express what was important to me or I was afraid to.
I went through a lot of emotional abuse as a kid, which I'm sure took played its part.
Over my teenage years I felt like I was losing myself and became extremely depressed, I either couldn't express what was important to me or I was afraid to.
I went through a lot of emotional abuse as a kid, which I'm sure played its part.
Extremely cynical these days.
Cynicism seems par for the course as an NF. A cynic being a disappointing idealist.
The cynic phase is practically a rite of passage for an INFP.
So what's the end result, who walks out from this passage alive? Is the end result battle hardened grizzled veteran? Or a broken fool gone mad? Haha. Is this cynic phase ment to kick in your 20's?
I think some INFPs manage to avoid it, but it's pretty common. It usually kicks in around the time we realize that the real world doesn't cooperate with our idealism, which seems to frequently occur during our teenage years and early 20s.
The end result depends on how the INFP processes it. Some never outgrow it and remain cynics. Others become "battle hardened grizzled veterans". Some get broken. And many out grow it, and figure out how to mesh idealism with reality while avoiding the negative emotions of cynicism. Personally, I find the last to be the ideal solution.
I think some INFPs manage to avoid it, but it's pretty common. It usually kicks in around the time we realize that the real world doesn't cooperate with our idealism, which seems to frequently occur during our teenage years and early 20s.
The end result depends on how the INFP processes it. Some never outgrow it and remain cynics. Others become "battle hardened grizzled veterans". Some get broken. And many out grow it, and figure out how to mesh idealism with reality while avoiding the negative emotions of cynicism. Personally, I find the last to be the ideal solution.
I don't think I've ever been particularly cynical, for example. Sarcastic, sure, cynical about a small thing here or there briefly, sure. But cynical in general or overall, no. We all get to make choices in life. And if your old choices aren't going how you wanted, you always have the freedom to try new choices. Attitude choices are much more accessible than career or living location ones, though even the latter often still can be done.
95% of the time, I'm incredibly cynical.
The other 5% I'm stoned or drunk.
Certainly fits with me, being 20 this has really started to kick in. I guess my search for this was triggered by the fact I was being pointed out as a cynic by those closest to me, I didn't even realise my own behaviour towards them. Really it was just bitterness towards choices they had made which went against their OWN set of principles which they judged me by. I had stupidly made the mistake of taking on some of their own values without giving it the proper scrutiny of whether or not it was something I really wanted to believe in on my own.
Does this sound about right in those scenario's?
I agree with you on the last as well. Most definately sound.
Which where you, Udog?
Realistically, a bit of all three. There's a few areas I still find myself a bit cynical about (to my dismay), I'm a bit hardened in other areas (to my disappointment), and I've accepted and moved on with several other big things. I mainly strive for consciousness, since cynicism doesn't lead to happiness. Once I'm conscious of it, I can start looking digging a bit deep and try and figure out what truths I need to accept in order to rise above it.