_eric_
New member
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2012
- Messages
- 285
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
That's exactly how I was in those times as well. I also didn't like team sports at all, they actually made those problems worse, as I was the kind of person who was always picked last to be on a team, and reluctantly at that. Usually the teacher would have to assign me to a team instead. And on top of that I was never much good at them...large motor skills deficiency due to (or co-morbid with, to be precise) as-of-then undiagnosed asperger's disorder. The few friends I had were other outcasts. Nobody else wanted much of anything to do with me, aside from putting me down and even harassing me, which in elementary school happened nearly every single day. Being pushed around, by multiple kids at once even, tripped in the halls in front of everyone, having my stuff stolen, laughed at in the gym locker room especially during swimming, being called every name you can possibly think of many many times, just generally treated like shit for being different. Ultimately not much changed when I got into high school. The only difference was that they were not as direct in their treatment of me so that it didn't go on their record. I could very often notice that many of them put on an air of superiority around me. They acted like I was invisible and they never included me in anything, in spite of my attempts to do otherwise. The put-downs also carried over, until maybe my senior year, at which point they pretty much paid no attention to me at all.I was overly compliant as a child and teen. I had a lot of trouble connecting socially and didn't make any close friends. I would approach the lonely and socially misfit students and befriend them, but tended to do more listening than personally sharing. I was in intense internal pain, withdrawn, and at risk for a lot of things. This was mostly unnoticed because of my external compliance, good grades, generally smiling at people, etc.
So yeah, school was awful, and I had no help with anything. At least I never took it out on myself though, that is one good thing I can say.