For you, flights of fantasy are reserved for moments where you can "indulge" in them and for the rest of the time you concentrate of practicalities and interacting with others. For me, it's the other way round. The majority of my day is taken up in constantly wondering about things, therefore pushing out time to consider useful/practical things. I think that, sometimes, my "inability" to compartmentalise in the same way as an ENFJ results in them branding me "difficult" or "moody". You may say to yourself that, because you can do both things, so should the INFP, so why can't he just get a grip and realise that following all these details is for the best!
A few questions:
- Define/describe what you consider a "flight of fancy."
- Define/describe what you consider a "practicality."
If you knew me IRL you'd know that I have this really big thing about The Apocalypse and I'm absolutely convinced that it will be biological in nature and that society and civilization will collaspe and that scares the beejesus out of me. Talk about a lonely planet. I really should be a survivalist. I'm not because all the survivalist groups I've looked into are white nationalists and separatists and live in compounds in West Virginia. They live out in the hinterlands and I'm much more interested in surviving in a urban environment or city--what if I can't get out before they blow the bridges and block the interstates? Unfortunately, they're not very mulit-culti or accepting of others. WTF?! I want to live too!
Stay with me, this is connected (in my mind at least).
I'm really attracted to ideas and movies that have dystopian futures. I'm not talking about Big Brother, technological oppression where every breath you take is being monitored. I'm talking about there's nobody out there to rely upon to help because people are dead, there are dead bodies everywhere, no electricity, no safe drinking water, roving bands of people that will kill you because there is no law and order, and the thin veneer of civilization has been ripped violently apart.
But I also feel this strange anticipation for this event. It's not all Be Prepared, it's like wow I wonder if I'd survive (survive to what?), I wonder if I could be a conqueror. Or at least not regress to eating squirrels and possums. There's this undercurrent of anticipation, cuz shit's going to be interesting and I want to be there.
A few friends of mine indulge me rather deeply in this topic, and all of them(!) have said they want to die in the first wave. And I'm like why...don't you want to see if you live and what this new society will look like? On top of that, I have this delusion of grandeur that I will rise to become a leader in this new society (I make no claims of benevolence) and I'm already trying to rebuild society (some small town probably) but this time, it's going to be
different.
OK, now here's the connection. While I think this is extreme, I don't at all believe improbable. But I realize it's a little crazy and that I could get really carried away with this. Right now, I have three boxes of medical supplies: saline, gauze, ABD pads, soft tape, splints, gloves, packages of sterilized tweezers and scissors, hospital quality bandages of varying absorbencies, a recipe for Dakin's solution to cleanse wounds. You know how some people have their trophy car and take it out for a spin on the weekends? I go and admire my little stockpile of medical supplies. I love those books that tell you what to do if you have to jump off a cliff or bridge into water (clench those butt checks). On my most recent bday, my friend got me a book on the many glorious uses of duct tape!
And then I find myself thinking about guys in terms of does he look like he could gut a deer without vomiting on himself? Can he scale a wall? This is pretty bad, I really have persistent thoughts like this.
This belief of mine tends to infiltrate my life. So for example, I'll be doing my budget and think "you know if you could save $500 a month you could probably buy a water purification system when the ELE happens." I get a little happy! Of course, I don't really do it...my money tends to go towards lavish dinners and alcohol. I tried though.
I gave this little glimpse into my mind because you never know what's fueling and motivating someone to behave in certain ways. All you see is the outward behavior. On a more realistic scale, maybe someone you see "excessively" worried or preoccupied with some "banality" of life was in a traumatic or difficult situation that has caused them to be the way they are. And what is excessive in this situation? Maybe the person is no where near being obsessive or excessive? My sister is an ISTP and some of her most frequent exclamations are "Who cares" and "What difference does it make?" If someone's default and most basic sense of importance is higher or lower than yours in a certain area, of course they're going to look excessive or deficient.
For me, having a sense of control and being able to walk freely in my sense of personal agency is of utmost importance. I work towards ends that increase my sense of control over my life. I'm sure these things look like worrying to people that have less of this need.
For the other matter, I'm not into guiding what's going on between people and how they're interacting. People tend to themselves and I'm not babysitting anyone. I have a small friend group and when I'm with a large group of people I tend to splinter off into a smaller group and those people tend to be the ones that I feel can hold their own. I don't look for the most lonely looking person in the room and feel some primordial pull towards them. Well unless they look like they want to integrate and are receptive to my efforts but if not, stay in the corner trying to drink and text at the same time. I guess I'm not into this image of ENFJs being hand-wringing worry warts, because I tend to concentrate my energies more in solutions than sitting around a clucking.