Are looks more important to men or women?

[Coriolis]

Also, I have to say, I find it annoying that guys can just roll out of bed looking great, but when I go into work without makeup, people ask me if I'm sick.

Then you haven't trained them properly. I've never worn make-up, and never had anyone make such a comment in many years of professional life. I've been at some fairly high-caliber meetings in DC and overseas - nothing. It's not because I'm naturally attractive - I'm quite plain, actually. It's just that no one cares. It's not important.

women look at each other as physical specimens or sexual objects as well, even if they don't swing that way... most women are more concerned about what other women will say about their appearance than they are about men. this doesn't do much to help things really

Yeah it's all the same thing. We're all subject to it. I have a hard time not viewing myself in that way. It's fucked.

Only with our own complicity. Maybe it's easier because most of my coworkers are men, but I really don't care what women think of my appearance either. There are too many other things to spend time and effort on.

The vast majority of my coworkers are guys. Perhaps that explains the above. But then I don't care what other women think, either. If I was aiming to look like a model, I would probably have found a different line of work.

Moral of the story: men tend to go for women that make it easy for men to fate.

Freudian slip?

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Freudian slip?

Would be nice, but just autocorrect...

 

[miss fortune]

Yeah it's all the same thing. We're all subject to it. I have a hard time not viewing myself in that way. It's fucked.

I may be a delusional, oversexual narcissist, but I have one of the more healthy body images of any of the women I know... I caught a glimpse of my ass reflecting off of the window earlier and thought "yeah, I'd hit that"

and it doesn't really matter at what point in my life or weight fluctuations I've been at for me to think that... my body is one of the few things that I actually feel quite good about myself for

however, it's always girls who comment on what someone wears or how their makeup is or something... I've maybe heard a guy (who wasn't a drag queen) say a handful of times "what does she think she's wearing?!"

and [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION]... I work with men and lesbians (and therefore am apparently the "girly" one in my section)... I get away with dressing like the thing from beneath the stairs for work most of the time and nobody really cares about it... in other sections there are comments

 

[Forever]

I focus on looks, but does she have a sense of style? She doesn't need to have all natural beauty. How well you keep or express yourself shows how much of a person you are. Do you just want to wear plain clothes because you just want to blend in? Fine, you'll have a harder time catching my eye.

What I mean style is that you don't have to be walking down a catwalk, but maybe it'll look like you actually spent your time shopping. Lol.

Then when I initiate the conversation, does she show interest, is she polite and mature, and not overly self-centered?

Match.

 

[Nijntje]

I'm not sure, attractiveness is so subjective. As a person of the female area thing.. ah! persuasion, yes, that's it.

I have a complicated relationship between what is attractive and what isn't. When i was hooking up, i went solely for looks. I didn't care if they were a douche-canoe or as in one case, had martial arts posters on his bedroom (shudder) all i cared about was looks and sex.

Relationships are different, they require much more mind attraction, however, i still need to find the person sexually attractive or my lady boner wont bone.

So, i think chicks can be just as superficial as anyone depending on the situation.

 

[kyuuei]

It does seem to be more common to see women with average-looking or unattractive men, than men with unattractive women.

Of course, some people would argue that those women who are with unattractive men are only interested in money, security, etc. So what the hell do I know.

They could very well be.. Most of the time, both sexes do the same damn things.. just slightly different executions of the concepts. Men just tend to go for looks.. Attraction means a lot in the present. And, in a way, I can respect that a bit more than the way women tend to dismiss attraction only to find it really does matter later on..

 

[Virtual ghost]

What do you think?

Basic biology.
Men are attracted to pretty women since that increases the odds that their children will be pretty/succesful. While women are attracted to certain positive personality traits because part of personality is genetically defined. They also need someone who has the nerves to invest in kids for years and entertain/stabilize them during pregnancy. (during which most women are a mess in physical and emotional sense)


It is all about making a perfect person that will survive to adult age.

 

[uumlau]

Men are more attracted to looks.

Everyone, however, is attracted to "personality". Both are just filters. "Match.com" stuff. They're the lies we tell ourselves about what we want in a potential mate.

Seriously, NO ONE knows the kind of person they really want/need as a lifetime companion. "Friends with benefits" is perhaps easier to determine, as are most business relationships.

Personally, I find women that are "too attractive" to be kind of off-putting. Not that they aren't nice or not attractive, but most times it feels like talking with a Barbie doll - no offense. If they pay that much attention to their appearance, there's nothing left over to hold my interest.

I look for other things that engage me. It's partly based on looks, and some womens' looks are instantly off-putting. But I'm not looking for "pretty" so much as "interesting". Frankly, if they aren't smart as hell, I'm not interested, and if they aren't a decent human being, I'm not interested.

 

[TSDesigner]

I like someone who looks good and is very nice. I don't want any girls who are rude, insulting, mean, cold, insensitive, or bossy regardless of what they look like. That's why I like ISFP's and ISFJ's the best.

 

[GIjade]

I'm a VERY visual person, but what someone looks like doesn't determine anything at all about whether or not I will be attracted to them in any way. That's all about heart and soul.

 

[Dyslexxie]

Basic biology.
Men are attracted to pretty women since that increases the odds that their children will be pretty/succesful. While women are attracted to certain positive personality traits because part of personality is genetically defined. They also need someone who has the nerves to invest in kids for years and entertain/stabilize them during pregnancy. (during which most women are a mess in physical and emotional sense)


It is all about making a perfect person that will survive to adult age.

THIS.

Initially it's all based on physical/sexual attraction because you can't know what their personality is like without actually getting to know them. "Check out that guy's great...personality" - said no one ever. If there's an attraction we're way more likely to try to get to know someone, which is when personality becomes important and can certainly make or break the future of the relationship.

 

[great_bay]

Women are penalized harshly about their looks more than men. I recall reading discrimination on weight comparing genders for hospitals. I can't remember the facts but I think females are penalized harshly for putting on weight more than males. It appears society places an empathizes for females to look beauty. However, the consequences for wanting to be attractive can have extreme consequences for both genders. People will go to far lengths such as throwing up food to appear skinny or using too much steroids.

 

[Tellenbach]

Psychologists have studied this question. From "The Rational Animal":

When people had a high mate budget, men and women wanted similar things in a mate: both sexes wanted everything - the equivalent of a kind and affectionate movie star with a PhD, a villa in southern France, and a great sense of humor. But when faced with a more realistic, lower budget, men and women started spending very differently, prioritizing their necessities in distinct ways. Men placed first priority on physical attractiveness, with kindness second and status and resources way down in the list. Women, on the other hand, placed first priority on a man's status and resources, followed by his kindness, with physical attractiveness way down in the list.

Basically, men care about looks; women care about status and money. We're equally shallow but in different ways.

 

[Kullervo]

[MENTION=20113]Tellenbach[/MENTION] We men are just much more direct. More honest about what we want from the beginning.

Nobody wants to feel like they're less attractive than their (prospective) partner, that's one of the worst feelings in the world. I know that women are much less prepared to come out and say they don't date some guys because they're black, too fat, old, ugly or something else because of that taboo.

But everyone has standards and that's fine by me. I am not going to apologise for mine. I want to go to bed with a good looking woman. I want to be aroused by her, night after night, and I want her to feel the same way about me.