ADHD

[Schrödinger's Name]

Wow. I've never heard this one, but it's absolutely bizarre (then again I don't tell anyone offline I have ADHD) but also another strange thing; you're not supposed to skip dosages, you're supposed to take them routinely, even a dumb psychiatrist should know that.
An odd bit about me- I'm very un-addictive. The opposite of. I can cut coffee cold turkey and be just fine. I take it because I still do need it, but if I had to cut cold turkey I could any time.

I rarely tell people in real life that I have ADHD but close friends know of course. They got a free pass from their psychiatrist, aren't diagnosed with ADHD but they do get ritalin 'to study'. It's stupid. At school I try to take my meds in a 'sneaky' way, so no one is able to see what I am taking but sometimes people do so ey... :')

Though, sometimes it's recommended to take a 'short break' of your meds. Maybe it depends on the medication you're taking? I usually take the one that works four hours, so it's more 'intense'. Maybe it's different if you take the eight hour version.

You don't get physically addicted? Dang. I realized I was addicted to RB when I couldn't drink one because I was away for a few days and I got this giant headache... that suddenly disappeared when I drank some RB. :') Then I was just like oh crap... Guess this is addiction. :') But then again, I am more like a 'routine' addict.

I had P.E (sports) at the same day every week, which means I'll have to bring my P.E stuff that day. Guess who keeps forgetting. YOU KNOW, that thing where it happens often enough that messing up is bad, but rarely enough that your brain can't remember it enough to designate it to something that you autopilot? Once I'm getting the hang of it, a new semester starts, and the schedule changes.

This is so relatable. :') Sometimes I would even put my sports bag IN FRONT OF THE DOOR so I wouldn't 'forget it'. The door you use to leave your house you know... Guess who just pushes that bag aside, might even curse and ask myself which stupid idiot put that bag in front of the door!

I read somewhere (it's for healthy people though) a study about something called optimum simulation or something? Basically something about attention spans and well, optimum simulation, and it explains why people say, turn down the radio in the car when maneuvering a new area, or why some people need to pace around while studying, etc. I've never read one for ADHD but when I read that I thought, could it be that ADHD gives you a different threshold?

When I google optimum stimulation the only thing I find is something about deep brain stimulation? I get what you are referring to tho.

I do know that when I am working on something I WILL get distracted, that is no question, but even before I was diagnosed with ADHD, if I had designated something to be what distracts me from the beginning, then my focus will be boxed into the task and the distracting material. It's like a water spray, either I leave it spraying water everywhere, or I jam a hose on it with multiple pathways to withstand the water pressure and direct it to where I want (OR ELSE IT WILL BURST. AND THEN THE ADHD CIRCUS MONKEY DEMON COMES AND PICKS THE DISTRACTION FOR ME). I doodle in class, I play documentaries or songs with lyrics while cleaning the house, I get on YT/twitter intermittently during homework (yes, it works for me). When told to recount the things I did or heard, I would be able to, more than if I didn't. Sounds counterproductive? But here's the thing, if someone healthy puts on glasses things will look like SHIT to them. Of course it won't work, it wasn't made for you! Do you see people going "Wow these glasses makes my eyesight worse, you should stop wearing them!" ???

About the 'boxing focus'. Gosh, when I take my meds and I am planning to do something but someone or something distracts me... It's pretty much ruined then. :') I become completely hyperfocussed on that one thing (or annoyed at the person that distracted me). ADHD circus monkey demon tho. :'D How you describe it; it sounds at least that you've find a 'good way' to deal with it.

I listen to music when I am studying. The radio playing in the background but also full attention on a song... I swear this is why I 'love' the exams. I take so many breaks to listen to music, to pace around in my room whilst listening to music and I feel completely energized. Sometimes I am surprised that I even got through all my stuff for school. It's like: *reads one slide of the PowerPoint* I AM A GOOD KID. I AM WORKING SO HARD IT'S TIME FOR A SONG NOW. STUDY BREAKS ARE IMPORTANT.
Though I ban myself from my 'normal' computer account. I have an extra account, only for studying. Only music and school is allowed there. (Okay, sometimes I do cheat and I watch some YT videos. ALSO. Why does everything feel better during the exams?? A few years ago, I was seriously just gaming all day long during the exams. I enjoyed it so much and I thought that ey, once my exams are finished I'll have plenty of time to game! Guess what happens when my exams are finished... suddenly gaming isn't interesting at all anymore. Though this might be more of a 'procrastinating' thing. I really enjoy that.)

I will remember that sentence about the glasses. It's a good one.

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

Talking about routine... One of my teachers apparently sent us a mail that we had to be in class at 12:30 instead of 1:30 today... I remember now that he mentioned it last week too. But guess who forgot and agreed to walk with the dog at 12pm... Crap. :')

Normally I wouldn't really feel bad about this but I love that course. Pffft.

Thanks to one of my other classmates that mentioned that she was going to be late. I was like what do you mean late?? Do we have class earlier today?? Yup.

 

[Earl Grey]

Talking about routine... One of my teachers apparently sent us a mail that we had to be in class at 12:30 instead of 1:30 today... I remember now that he mentioned it last week too. But guess who forgot and agreed to walk with the dog at 12pm... Crap. :')

Normally I wouldn't really feel bad about this but I love that course. Pffft.

Thanks to one of my other classmates that mentioned that she was going to be late. I was like what do you mean late?? Do we have class earlier today?? Yup.

Do agendas (physical or digital) work for you? I've always noticed that I had a tough time remembering things, so I brought my agenda with me everywhere. Even colour coded them according to what kind of activity it is, so that in a pinch I know which I can cross out even if I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was at the moment of reading. I also have special (again colourful) sticky notes that I stick on the agenda's cover that denotes "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TODAY THAT DEVIATES FROM YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULE, CHECK YOUR AGENDA A BAJILLION TIMES TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MISS IT" I have a notepad and (again,) more (again, colourful) sticky notes I carry everywhere to take notes and then sort and file/stick them onto my agenda later. My brain doesn't work, so I output and outsource those bits. Sometimes it really feels like that. Like I am brainless and my agenda is my brain. Like it's exported into book form and inside my head is just [ CIRCUS MONKEY DEMON ]

And @ above, no, I don't fit the symptoms of addiction. Strangely enough, I don't get withdrawals either.

 

[Lia_kat]

I'm currently struggling with a significant ADD, although it's not something that has been diagnosed and I don't think it is the standard type. It is affecting my life significantly now because I cannot sit and read a chapter for school. Even a half-hour online lesson is excruciating to me on the inside and I have funny, quiet little coping strategies that enable to me divert attention away and back.

This is an issue I was talking over with family because it is affecting all of my siblings now as well. We all experienced an extreme paradigm shift before Thanksgiving of 2017 when my sister found our father. We were raised to believe he was hunting us down to kill us, so we all had name changes, moved around constantly, lived in poverty and had a really difficult life. I used to go through intense fear every time I went to the DMV for a drivers license because I had to bring my birth certificate with my original name. After researching it, we discovered that my mother was mentally ill with a paranoid disorder and that my father is a good human being who lived a consistent and ethical life - some issues with alcohol, but no violence.

This extreme paradigm shift this late in life caused a rewiring of all the neurons in our brains on a deep psychological level and I have a theory that it was extreme enough to cause a neurological event in which so many neuropathways changed at once, that they have become destabilized. As I said before all of my siblings are struggling with attention issues that affect our ability to do the basic work in our jobs. I now live in the town where my father is in the facility from severe strokes, so he was never able to speak much to us in this life, but he knows we came back to him, but he is dying from vascular dementia which also affects my depression issues.

I don't have a counselor here, but the attention issues are quite severe for me and I have been getting mildly drunk as a coping mechanism because that relaxed, hazy focus of mild inebriation makes it easier to sustain a required task. When I open a chapter or look at an article, it feels like someone is throwing bowls of alphabet soup at me. It's not normal. It's also why I'm taking next semester off of school because I can't approach it that way indefinitely.

Wow. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling, dear. That would probably send me into a downward spiral with my depression. I hope taking that time off will help you relax and reflect on things.

They probably can't- brains are hardwired differently after all. No, the 'being unable to focus' isn't a choice no matter how much they say it is.

EDIT:

But get medication people!! Get real medications. And have a good diet. Be as healthy as possible.

It's so freaking hard to make "neuro-typical" people understand it's not a choice. "Try harder" "Why can't you just do it?" "If it's important, you'll do it." etc etc. I just had a huge argument with my husband about this yesterday. It's extremely difficult to control what your brain does naturally.

& that long description was absolutely PERFECT. Thank you for posting.

Eating well definitely helps! I notice a difference when I change my diet. Exercising also helps tremendously. It's a struggle for me to keep at it consistently though. I have an appointment with a new doctor next month to see if I can get on some medication. I went the natural route first and it's been helping a bit, but not as much as I would have hoped. I'm willing to try meds now. We'll see how it goes. **fingers crossed**

I think the most remarkable one I ever heard was this one from a social worker. Gosh. She once again, confirmed how people don't know shit about ADHD.

*general appointment for mental health*

Me: I have ADD. It influences many parts of my life.

She: "So, the ADD, it's mostly something that influences you at/in school? So it's not that bad?" / "The ADD is only school related I suppose."

THE HECK DID I JUST SAY ??? Yeah indeed, when I come home, my ADD magically disappears. My genes, they change. They pack their suitcases, wave me goodbye and say "It's exhausting being with you. But we'll be there tomorrow again with a brand new display. You've deserved some rest now, enjoy your ADD-free day!"
*rolls my eyes so hard I've to go catch them in the hallway* Hold up!

This had me laughing so hard. But seriously, how ridiculous to assume that. Obviously she has no clue.

Let's share a meme to keep things light.

That ADHD Feel

We should start an ADHD Meme Thread!

An odd bit about me- I'm very un-addictive. The opposite of. I can cut coffee cold turkey and be just fine. I take it because I still do need it, but if I had to cut cold turkey I could any time.

I heard that too much coffee can conk you out with ADHD. I think so. I've been practically 'immune' to it even before I started taking it regularly, or so I thought, till I realized that taking a whole lot at once, or just a really strong one, just knocks the lights out of me. It's like getting drugged. I can't even lift my head, it's like I suddenly have the sleepiness of someone who hadn't slept in 3 days.

I'm similar. I DO love my black tea every morning (green tea at night). I feel weird without it. But it's a smaller dose of caffeine compared to regular coffee and the amount others have. I've also gone a few days without and I feel OK... like something is "missing", but no major withdrawals. And if I have too much caffeine, I get super sleepy. I once had ordered a small mocha from Starbucks and they accidentally gave me a large. I thought "fuck it, whatever". Bad decision. I was at work all day feeling like I had sandpaper in my eyes. SO SLEEPY.

I do know that when I am working on something I WILL get distracted, that is no question, but even before I was diagnosed with ADHD, if I had designated something to be what distracts me from the beginning, then my focus will be boxed into the task and the distracting material. It's like a water spray, either I leave it spraying water everywhere, or I jam a hose on it with multiple pathways to withstand the water pressure and direct it to where I want (OR ELSE IT WILL BURST. AND THEN THE ADHD CIRCUS MONKEY DEMON COMES AND PICKS THE DISTRACTION FOR ME). I doodle in class, I play documentaries or songs with lyrics while cleaning the house, I get on YT/twitter intermittently during homework (yes, it works for me). When told to recount the things I did or heard, I would be able to, more than if I didn't. Sounds counterproductive? But here's the thing, if someone healthy puts on glasses things will look like SHIT to them. Of course it won't work, it wasn't made for you! Do you see people going "Wow these glasses makes my eyesight worse, you should stop wearing them!" ???

Any freaking task I do has to be with music playing, lol. But especially anything I find monotonous or slightly boring. Otherwise I won't do it at all, focus on something else, or endlessly procrastinate.

 

[Lia_kat]

I've always noticed that I had a tough time remembering things

UNDERSTATEMENT.

---
Me: Tries to recall literally any memory

My ADHD:

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

Do agendas (physical or digital) work for you? I've always noticed that I had a tough time remembering things, so I brought my agenda with me everywhere. Even colour coded them according to what kind of activity it is, so that in a pinch I know which I can cross out even if I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was at the moment of reading. I also have special (again colourful) sticky notes that I stick on the agenda's cover that denotes "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TODAY THAT DEVIATES FROM YOUR REGULAR SCHEDULE, CHECK YOUR AGENDA A BAJILLION TIMES TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MISS IT" I have a notepad and (again,) more (again, colourful) sticky notes I carry everywhere to take notes and then sort and file/stick them onto my agenda later. My brain doesn't work, so I output and outsource those bits. Sometimes it really feels like that. Like I am brainless and my agenda is my brain. Like it's exported into book form and inside my head is just [ CIRCUS MONKEY DEMON ]

No agendas don't work. Then again, I've never really tried to use them...Except in high school, when we were obligated to use one. The thing is that in the moment of making an appointment, it wouldn't occur to me that I might have any other appointments on that very day. Since I generally don't 'plan' things (except for the dog walks). So keeping an agenda for those few changes, it seems useless to me. Then again, hmmn... Maybe I should learn it, it might be useful in the future.
Though it really sounds exhausting when I read how much effort you put in trying to keep things organized/planned. (Or I just might have the false impression that you plan a lot of things and that you have to check your agenda at least ten times a day)

I even placed my tattoo appointment in my agenda -so I get a reminder on my phone- because I am scared that I might forget it. :'D

*imagines EG with 1000 sticky notes on them, their entire house build out of sticky notes*

 

[Earl Grey]

No agendas don't work. Then again, I've never really tried to use them...Except in high school, when we were obligated to use one. The thing is that in the moment of making an appointment, it wouldn't occur to me that I might have any other appointments on that very day. Since I generally don't 'plan' things (except for the dog walks). So keeping an agenda for those few changes, it seems useless to me. Then again, hmmn... Maybe I should learn it, it might be useful in the future.

Is why you use agendas- you sort things per day, and you can see on the calendar how many things you have for that day, as well as the hours (depending on what kind of agenda you use). So, I just have to open it, skim to the corresponding day/hour, "Oh, sorry, I'm occupied Thursday 3PM." the small hassle of opening the agenda outweighs the mad mental circus monkey juggling of what tasks I have on what day, and whether or not I actually have time. Kind of why I call my agenda my brain. It remembers the things for me.

Though it really sounds exhausting when I read how much effort you put in trying to keep things organized/planned. (Or I just might have the false impression that you plan a lot of things and that you have to check your agenda at least ten times a day)

It can be exhausting- not the organizing part, I enjoy that, but the having to open the agenda 9000 times because my brain can't remember things on its own, especially for the kinds of tasks that change a lot and aren't routine.

*imagines EG with 1000 sticky notes on them, their entire house build out of sticky notes*

I have 2 sticky note pads left.

 

[Earl Grey]

UNDERSTATEMENT.

---
Me: Tries to recall literally any memory

My ADHD:

YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH. 900%.

 

[Earl Grey]

We should start an ADHD Meme Thread!

I- My ADHD circus monkey demon is so down. Who's making it?
It's probably going to go in fluff or something.

 

[Lia_kat]

I- My ADHD circus monkey demon is so down. Who's making it?
It's probably going to go in fluff or something.

I will! We can post memes and a bunch of other funny stuff. What should I title it?

 

[Coriolis]

Let's share a meme to keep things light.

That ADHD Feel

What People Think ADHD is: fourth grader on a sugar high

What ADHD Actually Is: you decide to make cookies, so you put a stick of butter on the counter to soften. While waiting for the butter, you notice something in the living room that you need to put back in your room. You walk into your room with the item, and notice that your floor is messy, so you decide to clean your room. The house is quiet though, so you open your phone to pull up spotify for some music. When you look at your phone, you see that you have three facebook notifications. You hate unopened notifications, so you open facebook to clear them. As you go to do that, you see a buzzfeed quiz that somebody shared. You click on the link, take that quiz, and then proceed to spend the next hour and a half taking buzzfeed quizzes. You take a quiz titled "what parks and recreation character are you?" and it reminds you that you haven't watched parks and rec in a while. So you pull up netflix, and proceed to watch 6 episodes of parks and rec in a row. As you're about to start the 7th, you realize that you're a little hungry, so you head out into the kitchen, only to find the now melted, ruined stick of butter all over the counter. So you clean up your butter mess from earlier, and decide that you still want to make cookies, so you put a new stick on the counter to soften. As you look for your other ingredients, though, you see some expired food on your shelf, and decide that you need to clean out the fridge...

This makes me think of those kids books, starting with:

 

[Earl Grey]

I will! We can post memes and a bunch of other funny stuff. What should I title it?

I named my lizard, Lizard, and want to name a yellow snake, Spaghetti, I don't think I'm the best person to be picking names,

Maybe [MENTION=39622]ThisName[/MENTION] would be better at it.

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] I don't know that book but now I feel like reading it.

[MENTION=35920]Earl Grey[/MENTION] you have to be joking since I told you that I called 'my' cat Cat/Rosse, my snake is just Snek and I want to call my future dog 'Pup'... Maybe [MENTION=27014]Lia_kat[/MENTION] is a bit more creative with picking names?

And people complain about my username all the time, I think I see what you're doing there!>:c

All I can think of right now is ADHD-Beanzz. MOAR COFFEE. Precious Coffee Beans (all over the place). Advanced Disordered High Dreamers. Aberrational Dauntless (Hell) Dreamers. Adroit Debacle Hijacked Dreamers. Maybe I focus too much on the dreamers. Hmmn. We can also change it to Daemons. Or D(r)udes.

Another question; how many of you do use/'need' subtitles?

 

[Lia_kat]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] I don't know that book but now I feel like reading it.

[MENTION=35920]Earl Grey[/MENTION] you have to be joking since I told you that I called 'my' cat Cat/Rosse, my snake is just Snek and I want to call my future dog 'Pup'... Maybe [MENTION=27014]Lia_kat[/MENTION] is a bit more creative with picking names?

And people complain about my username all the time, I think I see what you're doing there!>:c

All I can think of right now is ADHD-Beanzz. MOAR COFFEE. Precious Coffee Beans (all over the place). Advanced Disordered High Dreamers. Aberrational Dauntless (Hell) Dreamers. Adroit Debacle Hijacked Dreamers. Maybe I focus too much on the dreamers. Hmmn. We can also change it to Daemons. Or D(r)udes.

Another question; how many of you do use/'need' subtitles?

I'm really bad with picking names and titles. Happens with my artwork all the time. Now I'm wondering if that's an ADHD thing too? 🤔 lol.

I was thinking of just stealing the words from that photo I posted on here the other day: Attention Dialed to a Higher Dimension.
Or...For ADHD Mutants (I read an article on this comparison - I have to share it later).
Or... How about using that Monkey Demon thing you guys were talking about? LOL.
Idk. Everything sounds horrible to me. Maybe something simple would be better.

And to answer your last question, YES! YES! I NEED subtitles when watching anything on tv. I feel it helps me concentrate and focus more. Otherwise I get too distracted by the voices or by trying to figure out what is being said.

 

[Lia_kat]

This is the blog post I found while researching: ADHD disorder or superpower?

Very helpful and interesting. Thought some of you on here might like it. Also, I love thinking of myself as a superhero or mutant, lol!

 

[Coriolis]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] I don't know that book but now I feel like reading it.

[MENTION=35920]Earl Grey[/MENTION] you have to be joking since I told you that I called 'my' cat Cat/Rosse, my snake is just Snek and I want to call my future dog 'Pup'... Maybe [MENTION=27014]Lia_kat[/MENTION] is a bit more creative with picking names?

And people complain about my username all the time, I think I see what you're doing there!>:c

All I can think of right now is ADHD-Beanzz. MOAR COFFEE. Precious Coffee Beans (all over the place). Advanced Disordered High Dreamers. Aberrational Dauntless (Hell) Dreamers. Adroit Debacle Hijacked Dreamers. Maybe I focus too much on the dreamers. Hmmn. We can also change it to Daemons. Or D(r)udes.

In the spirit of that book, I would call it something like The Mouse's Cookie. I can often come up with good names, but it is completely Ni-based. I cannot follow any deliberate process. A good name just comes to me, or it doesn't, and once it comes it rarely gets changed. For instance, I have never changed my username here.

Another question; how many of you do use/'need' subtitles?

Do you mean the user titles here, or something else?

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

In the spirit of that book, I would call it something like The Mouse's Cookie. I can often come up with good names, but it is completely Ni-based. I cannot follow any deliberate process. A good name just comes to me, or it doesn't, and once it comes it rarely gets changed. For instance, I have never changed my username here.

May the other users vote. I don't really care that much about the name. We might as well give it three names.

Do you mean the user titles here, or something else?

Movie subtitles.

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

Also [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION]. Wasn't your name once 'Thestralis'?

Edit; I guess that was for Halloween?

 

[Coriolis]

Also [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION]. Wasn't your name once 'Thestralis'?

Edit; I guess that was for Halloween?

Yes, so not a real name change, more of a Halloween lark.

 

[Lia_kat]

I have a few questions for you guys. Please let me know your thoughts/opinions.

1. How frequent are your repetitive thoughts? Is it all the time? Do you feel they're like conversations you're having with yourself or more like various different thoughts, images that occur randomly? Does your brain get "stuck" on certain moments? <--I've noticed this happens to me a lot when something happens that is particularly emotional. But I also have anxiety and PTSD.

2. Do your thoughts "stop" when you're focused? Does this depend on your level of interest in what you're focused on? Or are they still there at all times? Can you watch TV/movies normally? (I tend to get obsessive with TV and the internet as forms of stimulation, so I can always watch tv but if it's something boring or that I don't find interesting, I almost find it painful to stay and watch it. I also need subtitles to concentrate when watching anything on tv).

3. Are there any of you on here that feel you don't have time blindness? Or you do, but you have found ways to manage it? Do you feel like you can get organized and remember appts? How do you do it? Does this change at work vs. at home?

4. What calms your mind?

5. Do you always have a feeling that you have to be "on the go" or constantly doing something (but at times don't know what)? Or do you find yourself being more laidback and go with the flow?