Vorthos
New member
- Joined
- May 5, 2015
- Messages
- 71
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
What type am I? I'm feeling like I have some cognitive dissonance because of some (seemingly?) contradictory elements of my personality. I'm quite confused, so I was hoping that maybe figuring my out MBTI and enneagram more properly could possibly help me out. Unfortunately, quizzes online don't ask specific enough questions to determine my type, so I was wondering if anybody here could help me out. Warning: incoming wall of text describing my personality (as perceived by me, at least) follows this.
I spend a lot of time thinking about things: analysing them for possible improvements, or implications that can be useful to future endeavours. I love knowledge, often just for knowledge's sake, but sometimes because it gives me the ability to do things that others cannot. I consider myself quite creative, and thinking outside the box could be said (not literally, though) to be my default mode of thinking. I frequently am lost in thought, and can seem spaced out occasionally, but when I focus, I am highly observant. Logic comes naturally to me, and I am generally very rational, but I realise that (when no important decisions are being made) being completely rational is not always the best answer: jokes and nonsense are sometimes more amusing in social situations, and hasty decisions can sometimes lead to an interesting outcome. I know that sometimes, when I think, I don't have enough information for a logical conclusion, so I'll often fill in the blanks with speculation and make multiple conclusions with multiple different assumptions, and see what implications they have: how I can use the conclusions.
I love planning. I make all kinds of plans and lists of ideas, but they are usually more like guidelines than in-depth plans (though they often take into account multiple possible outcomes at each step). I think quickly, and can create well-considered plans as the situation demands, so I often don't need more than a guideline at first. I find coming up with new plans quickly highly entertaining, and know that I can make plans quickly, so paradoxically, for unimportant (or very uninteresting) matters, I usually don't plan much in advance. Sometimes plans can close opportunities, so I like to avoid "sealing a deal", so to speak, if I can, but only if it isn't obviously a bad idea to wait.
I don't get angry quickly, and I'm quite difficult to offend, but I care quite a lot about if I am offending or bothering other people. This isn't to excess though: I usually think about if one of my actions would benefit one party more than it would harm another. I'm also rather patient, so this usually just ends up with me taking all the negative, so that everybody else can experience the positive, unless I'm around people who I know for certain won't be bothered by certain things. It goes beyond a very utilitarian ethical viewpoint, though: I generally (with some rare exceptions) don't like hurting people. I also think about what people's responses could signify, and I often think suspect that they think somewhat negatively of me, but outside of me bothering them, I don't really care what they think of me.
I love debate, and I find it genuinely entertaining, but only as long as it remains logical. That said, I frequently feel bad when I win a debate, because even though I feel pretty clever, I feel like the person who lost feels worse than when they started–and I don't think that a small benefit to me is worth a small loss to another.
I usually stick to idea of maximising benefit to others, even if it means detriment to me, but there are a few things that I can't stand. Needless destruction (or harm), people (aggressively) presenting opinions (or incorrectness) as fact (though I'm not fond of incorrectness at all, really), and malicious intent. Despite this (or maybe because of it?) I sometimes lose all hope in mankind and become very cynical. I still try to maximise their benefit, but I don't try nearly as hard.
I am very good at persuasion, deception, and manipulation, but I have a conscience, so I can't usually use those skills (except for persuasion) in my daily life. Things like games though, I can cut loose, and without my conscience to hold me back, I am a ruthless puppet-master, and very few people can resist it. I've been compared to Emperor Palpatine, the devil, and various other figures known for being manipulative (in these scenarios, at least). Occasionally in real life, I manipulate people in an ethical manner (it's not just persuasion, as it involves making them think a certain way without me explicitly convincing them to), but I do so without meaning to. It's like I can't turn it off.
A few other assorted bits:
I am full of doubt. I doubt my knowledge, I doubt my own conclusions, I doubt other people's conclusions, and I doubt myself in various ways. I know that I could misremember things, or that a source could be wrong.
I don't care to lead, and I certainly don't want to follow, but I want to have control. To control how the leader thinks would ideal.
I judge myself by the same standards with which I judge others, but this often just further enhances my self-doubt.
I'm very introverted around people that I don't know well, but if I know you well I might even seem extroverted.
EDIT:
Upon further consideration and research, I've decided that I'm much more INTP than INFP, but I still feel like I could possibly be an INTJ.
I've also recently done a few (free) enneagram tests. According to many of them, I am 5 (which I think I am as well)–although 8 is a very close second. Since an apparent transition from 5-8 can happen as integration, it makes sense that I occasionally seem INTJ-like (perhaps this is also why I can be the most manipulative in non-serious and enjoyable situations like games?). Despite being a 5, I also (apparently) have a strong 1 component. I think this is where the contradictions arise. How can I be types one and five simultaneously? Type ones seem to think in black and white, but type fives seem more open minded.
I don't even know. I've tried to figure myself out, but evidently I can't, so I'm hoping that somebody here could help me out. I'll add some more information below that might help you help me.
When I'm in a good mood or friendly environment, I become quite outgoing and lively. I make lots of puns and jokes, and people consider me hilarious. I become quite confident. When I'm under a lot of stress, I try to distract myself and avoid thinking about what stressed me, unless what's stressing me is something related to my actions or thoughts–then I put a lot of time and effort into rectifying it and think quite harshly about myself in the mean time. Feeling hypocritical is a large cause of things that can stress me. Interestingly, me being wrong about something that I thought was logical often makes me feel hypocritical.
Anyway, let me know what you think. I do appreciate any help I can get.
I spend a lot of time thinking about things: analysing them for possible improvements, or implications that can be useful to future endeavours. I love knowledge, often just for knowledge's sake, but sometimes because it gives me the ability to do things that others cannot. I consider myself quite creative, and thinking outside the box could be said (not literally, though) to be my default mode of thinking. I frequently am lost in thought, and can seem spaced out occasionally, but when I focus, I am highly observant. Logic comes naturally to me, and I am generally very rational, but I realise that (when no important decisions are being made) being completely rational is not always the best answer: jokes and nonsense are sometimes more amusing in social situations, and hasty decisions can sometimes lead to an interesting outcome. I know that sometimes, when I think, I don't have enough information for a logical conclusion, so I'll often fill in the blanks with speculation and make multiple conclusions with multiple different assumptions, and see what implications they have: how I can use the conclusions.
I love planning. I make all kinds of plans and lists of ideas, but they are usually more like guidelines than in-depth plans (though they often take into account multiple possible outcomes at each step). I think quickly, and can create well-considered plans as the situation demands, so I often don't need more than a guideline at first. I find coming up with new plans quickly highly entertaining, and know that I can make plans quickly, so paradoxically, for unimportant (or very uninteresting) matters, I usually don't plan much in advance. Sometimes plans can close opportunities, so I like to avoid "sealing a deal", so to speak, if I can, but only if it isn't obviously a bad idea to wait.
I don't get angry quickly, and I'm quite difficult to offend, but I care quite a lot about if I am offending or bothering other people. This isn't to excess though: I usually think about if one of my actions would benefit one party more than it would harm another. I'm also rather patient, so this usually just ends up with me taking all the negative, so that everybody else can experience the positive, unless I'm around people who I know for certain won't be bothered by certain things. It goes beyond a very utilitarian ethical viewpoint, though: I generally (with some rare exceptions) don't like hurting people. I also think about what people's responses could signify, and I often think suspect that they think somewhat negatively of me, but outside of me bothering them, I don't really care what they think of me.
I love debate, and I find it genuinely entertaining, but only as long as it remains logical. That said, I frequently feel bad when I win a debate, because even though I feel pretty clever, I feel like the person who lost feels worse than when they started–and I don't think that a small benefit to me is worth a small loss to another.
I usually stick to idea of maximising benefit to others, even if it means detriment to me, but there are a few things that I can't stand. Needless destruction (or harm), people (aggressively) presenting opinions (or incorrectness) as fact (though I'm not fond of incorrectness at all, really), and malicious intent. Despite this (or maybe because of it?) I sometimes lose all hope in mankind and become very cynical. I still try to maximise their benefit, but I don't try nearly as hard.
I am very good at persuasion, deception, and manipulation, but I have a conscience, so I can't usually use those skills (except for persuasion) in my daily life. Things like games though, I can cut loose, and without my conscience to hold me back, I am a ruthless puppet-master, and very few people can resist it. I've been compared to Emperor Palpatine, the devil, and various other figures known for being manipulative (in these scenarios, at least). Occasionally in real life, I manipulate people in an ethical manner (it's not just persuasion, as it involves making them think a certain way without me explicitly convincing them to), but I do so without meaning to. It's like I can't turn it off.
A few other assorted bits:
I am full of doubt. I doubt my knowledge, I doubt my own conclusions, I doubt other people's conclusions, and I doubt myself in various ways. I know that I could misremember things, or that a source could be wrong.
I don't care to lead, and I certainly don't want to follow, but I want to have control. To control how the leader thinks would ideal.
I judge myself by the same standards with which I judge others, but this often just further enhances my self-doubt.
I'm very introverted around people that I don't know well, but if I know you well I might even seem extroverted.
EDIT:
Upon further consideration and research, I've decided that I'm much more INTP than INFP, but I still feel like I could possibly be an INTJ.
I've also recently done a few (free) enneagram tests. According to many of them, I am 5 (which I think I am as well)–although 8 is a very close second. Since an apparent transition from 5-8 can happen as integration, it makes sense that I occasionally seem INTJ-like (perhaps this is also why I can be the most manipulative in non-serious and enjoyable situations like games?). Despite being a 5, I also (apparently) have a strong 1 component. I think this is where the contradictions arise. How can I be types one and five simultaneously? Type ones seem to think in black and white, but type fives seem more open minded.
I don't even know. I've tried to figure myself out, but evidently I can't, so I'm hoping that somebody here could help me out. I'll add some more information below that might help you help me.
When I'm in a good mood or friendly environment, I become quite outgoing and lively. I make lots of puns and jokes, and people consider me hilarious. I become quite confident. When I'm under a lot of stress, I try to distract myself and avoid thinking about what stressed me, unless what's stressing me is something related to my actions or thoughts–then I put a lot of time and effort into rectifying it and think quite harshly about myself in the mean time. Feeling hypocritical is a large cause of things that can stress me. Interestingly, me being wrong about something that I thought was logical often makes me feel hypocritical.
Anyway, let me know what you think. I do appreciate any help I can get.
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