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Well I think that a lot of the "harmony" that you seek with others is due to your 9 fix.
Yes, I am sure you are very correct about that.
I also like to create harmony with those around me as well. However, I like intimacy to happen VERY quickly. It's not just about sex either, it's just bonding with the other person in general. In fact, I'm often angered by many sx second types because it's like they also want the intimacy, but they just want it to happen too damn slow. I HATE IT! I feel like when I'm courting another SX dom, things can just happen at a rapid pace, which is my natural pace.
Lol, yeah. I feel the opposite, like it's too fast for me. I need time for my whole self, subconscious and all, to make a shift on that scale of magnitude. But I'm glad that there are others like you who are on your page, and others like me who are on mine. My Sp/Soc needed even more time than I did. And my Soc/Sp friend is like molasses.
I'm often like a politician that is always trying to keep a good standing with everyone and keep up a good image. I try not to get large groups of people on my bad side because I understand how that could be harmful to myself.
This does sound Social and 6 to me. (Not necessarily Soc-dom)
Well one thing that angers me about Social first types when it comes to sex and relationships is that they aren't as intense. For example, it seems like when I go on dates with so/sx women, they want me to go out with them and their friends quite often. Then they are the social butterfly and they bounce around the room: they will talk to this person, then that one, and then the next one. It almost feels like I have to catch the so/sx like putting a butterfly in a jar or something. Once you can actually catch them, then just maybe, you can have some intimate moments with them. The so/sp is even worse. When I try to get with a so/sp, it's like they want to talk to everyone: this person, that person, and so on and so forth. They are almost like politicians. I feel like it's hard as hell, if not impossible to have an intense, one-on-one moment with the so/sp types. With the social last types, and with the sx/so it isn't as hard, because they tend to like the one-on-one interaction style.
To explain this, as a Social-first you are blatantly aware of your social surroundings and are very aware of your presence in them. So a Soc-dom won't be able to just pass through a crowd of people they know and ignore them without feeling keenly aware that they're ignoring them. So even though maybe I'd
prefer to just socialize with my boyfriend at a certain point (and sometimes in social settings I do choose to hang behind him and let him take the lead), I'd feel very irresponsible and kind of like a jerk if I didn't acknowledge others who I had relationships with that were in my environment. It's essentially a compulsion. So that still might bother you, of course, but at least you can see how it's not really a voluntary sort of thing. It's not generally for the pure enjoyment of it (though it can be enjoyable), but because of a sense of "need". I kind of think of the variants as different pairs of glasses we put on that highlight different things. For the Sx-dom, certain priorities light up; for the Soc-dom and Sp-dom other priorities light up. Soc glasses just make you painfully aware of the environmental interactions going on, the who and what and how. Sx glasses make you painfully aware of the quality/chemistry/intensity of those interactions, I think.
following the latest styles, wearing the popular haircuts, getting the most popular purse, or getting the "in style" shoes. All of this is related to the social variant, yes.
I might assign "awareness of trends" to Social, but not necessarily
following trends. Any Social with e4 in their tritype isn't going to be particularly fond of just going with the mainstream, after all, and I know there are plenty of others. I think Socials are just more likely to be aware which trends they are picking and choosing to follow.
Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc.
I don't even see how the need to want to be sexually attractive is an So thing.
Well, it does have some social advantages. Puts you in a more influential position... gets you favors... attention... likeability. It's sad but it's true.
I do think there can also be a significant social component to relationships, at least longer-term, more permanent ones. Sexual attraction is important to me personally because I do want a sexual relationship, but also because I want a sexual relationship to be a part of a larger, more encompassing romantic relationship that also evolves into a permanent relationship and continuation of my family. For me it's a facet of the bigger picture. I feel like that's a very Soc > Sx way to look at things. I am fairly sure my Sp/Soc boyfriend (Sp > Soc > Sx) also feels similar.
I believe that the need to feel sexually attractive, to want to attract a mate, and to be a highly sexual person IS IN FACT an Sx thing.
I think you're generally right about Sx-last, but I also do think that all of these things - to want to be attractive, to want a mate, and to be sexual - are fairly fundamental to the human experience. Of course there are some people (asexuals, eg) for whom this does not count, but in general, I think it is fairly common.
Yea, I throw "what makes someone attractive" into the so category. What makes someone attractive is what is "socially the norm" imo. I despise that crap.
Ehhh. Again, maybe somewhat, but it's too superficial. Attractiveness is so complex and there are so many levels it takes place on. And again no self-respecting Social with e4 in their tritype is going to take kindly to the idea of just going along with a trend. I just don't think that being mainstream is a Social thing. Maybe Socials are more aware and attuned to it, and maybe there are more Soc-doms who
are like that, but I don't think all the connotations of superficiality and normalcy and fads being linked to Soc-dom is accurate.
I would assume e8.
Anyway TGO... point being... I don't know, at one point I thought Sp/Sx for you but now maybe Sx/So. I just don't see you having that high of an intensity level. It seems like you want intensity but on here you don't come across as intense. And I'm not really sure how to rectify that.