stellar renegade
PEST that STEPs on PETS
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2009
- Messages
- 1,446
- MBTI Type
- ESTP
I don't think NTs are mentally ill. I consider him to be the smartest guy I know. I thought he seemed emotionally unstable, that's completely different from mentally ill and I now think I was very likely wrong.You get it I wont labour... dont' take offense at the other thread... it's just really common for non NTs to think NTs are mentally ill when there is nothing wrong with them at all. So don't take offense...
Yeah, he often says you'll know when he's angry. I don't know how many times I've heard him say that and also talk about how much he values blunt honesty. He also seems to be surprised (not that he displays the emotion of surprise) sometimes at my emotional reactions to something he says.Yes - NT's are often very direct in saying whats in their heads... they dont get you are recieving it in an emotional way..... You will know when an NT is angry
It's harder to work on my ability to be offended than it is to just let him know that the way he's coming across is offensive. And if a person doesn't want to work on that I don't see what the point in trying to maintain healthy interaction is.Yes of course you are. its the only person you can change after all (and to be honest it's you that are stating you have a problem not him) . IF he is telling you all the time to fix your life - then you may have a degree of justification at point out his flaws... but right now you are attacking him with your point of view... and it is an attack.
He does do what you said, or at least he used to more before. If someone attacks me, I attack back. At least eventually. Usually I just try to comply at first until it builds up.
What I'm saying is, it's ok for him to be the judge or boss or parent and point out my weak points, but not ok for me to do it to him? That's what I'm saying is going on here. He does it to me way more often than I ever do to him. I usually never openly confront him.You wantting to work on yourself is your own choice, his desire not to work on himself is his choice..... and trust me he works on himself infinately more than you do, but not in a way you value or perhaps see - ENTPs are all about self growth...
You are not his judge or boss or parent, it's not up to you to tell him he needs to work on himself... Support him if he asks for help or sounds like he needs a friend but don't tell him he needs to change who he is. it would bug the hell out of you if people pointed out your weak points and told you to change...
The only way I'd like for him to work on himself is in his approach to others including me. I don't dictate to others, that's not even the SP way.
Yeah, he doesn't want to invest the energy to do so. He usually just gets frustrated when I don't get it because he feels like I'm just not paying attention or listening closely enough. He'll say something like, "I don't know how I can put it any other way." I think I'm possibly even less abstract than others because he says that other people understand what he's saying better than I do.He doesn't have the teaching skills to be able to reframe his thinking into a style you cna get.
You might want to suggest to him to draw you a diagram or other style that you wold get - different people have different learning styles.
He may not have the communication skills to change how he communicates his idea to you - so he might not be abel to convert his idea to a picture or to less abstract language.
In order for his ideas to be valued he will need to work on that as an issue for him... there are book on how to communicate your ideas... but that is his issue.
"looking communication"? What did you mean to say there?You may choose to practice understanding abstract concepts a very SP problem. SP's use concrete language and are less impaginative.. NT's think and use abstract language... You can change yourself but improving your abstract thinking through practice of looking communication you dont' normally get easily.
IT's hard for you because your way of learning is different so it all feels a bit messed up when you hear it... suggest he explains it in a way you can get... he might not be able to do that, but at least you understand he is not just repeating himself because either of you are stupid - you just have different language skills, he just lacks breath of communication and you lack the ability to understand abstract concepts...
In order for me to understand it, I'd have to be as mentally quick as him at just grabbing it all at once. I don't know how I can start doing that, it'd be a change in consciousness and probably personality type.
I guess I'll just have to start asking for examples.
You mean it's a pleasure to do it? haha, even though YOU'D respond badly? Jeesh.Most peoples idea of a good time is to be criticised in a public space... always a pleasure... Id' respond badly too.. He is likely to be defensive
He loves trolling, it's a fun pastime of his.
somewhat, this last roundhope this helps