Harlow_Jem
New member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 219
- MBTI Type
- eNTJ
- Enneagram
- 8w9
Society tells us that the proper roles in a relationship are played out when the male is the manly man and the female is the less assertive, sensitive one. Which is why when a healthy INFP male and a healthy ENTJ female meet, it's absolute magic in a backwards way. The ENTJ female does not need a male who is more "masculine, aggressive" or whatever. What she needs is someone to complement her own traits and help her ease into feeling comfortable with her own, most likely repressed/rejected femininity. What she needs is the sensitive rational male. The INFP male is the sensitive, rational man.
I think it's especially hard for the INFP male to attract an ENTJ female because ENTJ females are all mixed up simply by being an "ENTJ female" which is kind of a paradox. Therefore the ENTJ female inherently feels very masculine and with the combination of growing up in a society that promotes outward masculinity as the ideal male, it can be hard for the ENTJ female to face an attraction to an INFP male who may be seen and misinterpreted to be "too sensitive and feminine." The immature/unhealthy/extreme ENTJ female will most likely write off the INFP male as being effeminate and ignore the potentially perfect match she makes with an INFP male in favor of trying to gain the affections of a more "masculine" male. However, in the end, she will find that with a more "masculine male" there will most likely never be an end to power struggles, the clashing of egos and the conflicts and dissent that arise when two inherently different beings try to occupy and dominate the same niche.
The INFP male definitely needs a mature, very understanding and accepting ENTJ female who does not misinterpret and write off his seemingly lax behavior and outlook/approach towards life as incompetency and doesn't offend him by questioning his masculinity in comparison to her own "masculinity" and instead appreciates his sensitivity. My INFP boyfriend has issues of wishing he fit more into the accepted mold of the "manly man"; he wishes he was more athletic, more assertive and aggressive, etc. But to me he's already the ideal man as to me the ideal man is one who understands the feminine psyche without being an effeminate male.
INFPs and ENTJs value and demand the same basic things in people. Honesty, morality, and genuineness. My boyfriend said, "I can't stand most people. It's hard for me because I'm a moral man living in an immoral world" and whereas other people might laugh at such a statement, I knew exactly what he meant because I feel the same way. I'm a moral, straightforward female living in a society that promotes submission, seduction and manipulation as desirable traits of femininity and writes off blunt honesty and being forward as traits of the "bitch CEO." I think during serious discussion between the INFP and the ENTJ who are on the same level, both will find that what the other says is exactly what he/she believes, though its worded differently than how he/she would word it. Thus they help enlighten one another.
Some examples that I see of the INFP and ENTJ complementing each other:
-The INFP wishes he could more easily tell the people he wants to fuck off to actually fuck off; the ENTJ easily tells the people he wants to fuck off because it doesn't occur to him that he should curb himself or do otherwise.
-The INFP easily reads the feelings and vibes that others give off; the ENTJ hopes that he/she can learn to better read the feelings and vibes that others give off.
-The INFP wishes he could more easily assert his intentions, desires, etc but worries he will be misunderstood; the ENTJ naturally asserts his intentions, desires, etc. without worrying he will be misunderstood.
-The ENTJ feels extremely uncomfortable when faced with his feelings; the INFP understands how the ENTJ feels even if the ENTJ is not able to verbalize it himself...the INFP is capable of explaining to and assuring the ENTJ that one doesn't have to flee from his feelings in a way the ENTJ can accept and understand and affirm that the ENTJ is not crazy for feeling what he feels.
I think the ENTJ/INFP match is especially perfect because the ideal relationship is one in which both parties help the other grow as a person. The characteristics of the healthy ENTJ is basically what the INFP wants to have/cultivate in himself; and vice versa....the characteristics of the healthy INFP are what the ENTJ, at the core, wants to cultivate in himself.
Also, we just seem to understand each other perfectly. I don't know, I can't really explain the curious dynamics I feel as an ENTJ between the INFP and the ENTJ. It just works. I think that's why it's so perfect because you don't need to rationalize out why it feels right. The fact that there is no cognitive dissonance that arises out of its instinctual sense of rightness between one's feelings and rationality makes it just....right.
I think it's especially hard for the INFP male to attract an ENTJ female because ENTJ females are all mixed up simply by being an "ENTJ female" which is kind of a paradox. Therefore the ENTJ female inherently feels very masculine and with the combination of growing up in a society that promotes outward masculinity as the ideal male, it can be hard for the ENTJ female to face an attraction to an INFP male who may be seen and misinterpreted to be "too sensitive and feminine." The immature/unhealthy/extreme ENTJ female will most likely write off the INFP male as being effeminate and ignore the potentially perfect match she makes with an INFP male in favor of trying to gain the affections of a more "masculine" male. However, in the end, she will find that with a more "masculine male" there will most likely never be an end to power struggles, the clashing of egos and the conflicts and dissent that arise when two inherently different beings try to occupy and dominate the same niche.
The INFP male definitely needs a mature, very understanding and accepting ENTJ female who does not misinterpret and write off his seemingly lax behavior and outlook/approach towards life as incompetency and doesn't offend him by questioning his masculinity in comparison to her own "masculinity" and instead appreciates his sensitivity. My INFP boyfriend has issues of wishing he fit more into the accepted mold of the "manly man"; he wishes he was more athletic, more assertive and aggressive, etc. But to me he's already the ideal man as to me the ideal man is one who understands the feminine psyche without being an effeminate male.
INFPs and ENTJs value and demand the same basic things in people. Honesty, morality, and genuineness. My boyfriend said, "I can't stand most people. It's hard for me because I'm a moral man living in an immoral world" and whereas other people might laugh at such a statement, I knew exactly what he meant because I feel the same way. I'm a moral, straightforward female living in a society that promotes submission, seduction and manipulation as desirable traits of femininity and writes off blunt honesty and being forward as traits of the "bitch CEO." I think during serious discussion between the INFP and the ENTJ who are on the same level, both will find that what the other says is exactly what he/she believes, though its worded differently than how he/she would word it. Thus they help enlighten one another.
Some examples that I see of the INFP and ENTJ complementing each other:
-The INFP wishes he could more easily tell the people he wants to fuck off to actually fuck off; the ENTJ easily tells the people he wants to fuck off because it doesn't occur to him that he should curb himself or do otherwise.
-The INFP easily reads the feelings and vibes that others give off; the ENTJ hopes that he/she can learn to better read the feelings and vibes that others give off.
-The INFP wishes he could more easily assert his intentions, desires, etc but worries he will be misunderstood; the ENTJ naturally asserts his intentions, desires, etc. without worrying he will be misunderstood.
-The ENTJ feels extremely uncomfortable when faced with his feelings; the INFP understands how the ENTJ feels even if the ENTJ is not able to verbalize it himself...the INFP is capable of explaining to and assuring the ENTJ that one doesn't have to flee from his feelings in a way the ENTJ can accept and understand and affirm that the ENTJ is not crazy for feeling what he feels.
I think the ENTJ/INFP match is especially perfect because the ideal relationship is one in which both parties help the other grow as a person. The characteristics of the healthy ENTJ is basically what the INFP wants to have/cultivate in himself; and vice versa....the characteristics of the healthy INFP are what the ENTJ, at the core, wants to cultivate in himself.
Also, we just seem to understand each other perfectly. I don't know, I can't really explain the curious dynamics I feel as an ENTJ between the INFP and the ENTJ. It just works. I think that's why it's so perfect because you don't need to rationalize out why it feels right. The fact that there is no cognitive dissonance that arises out of its instinctual sense of rightness between one's feelings and rationality makes it just....right.