I like recognition. It’s very important to get complimented soon after an accomplishment. If something goes unnoticed or unrewarded, it doesn’t have the immediate impact that I want. I’ve been learning my own positive self-talk. I tend to be a workaholic at whatever it is I am doing. You might say I’m a perfectionist. I want people to be impressed with my performance. I don’t want anyone to be unhappy with my performance so I continue to perform, and that is kind of a driving force. It has been a constant struggle to not overdo it. I need a positive environment to work in and I need the people I’m working with to support me.
I can only speak for myself, but I have very little concept of how I'm perceived by others, whether I'm doing well or not, I'll never know unless someone tells me very directly and straight up, even then my first instinct is to dismiss it or explain it away.
Unfortunately, in school I was treated like I was stupid, so to this day I still have anger problems about it and when someone is complementing me I think they don't mean it. I'm fucked up in the head.
But I bend over backward to be kind to others.
The worst is people call me "sweetie" and I get mad because I think they are being condescending. What do you guys think?
Walking Tourist. Thank you. I feel the same, too. I like to be left alone but sometimes it really hurts.
I was never treated as if I was stupid in school, more like very capable but too lazy, which is probably true!
When I was in school, I had an undiagnosed auditory processing disorder. I can't filter out background noise. I probably appeared stupid because I simply could not make sense of what teachers were saying with all of the noise.
I hear everything! Heaters turning on, traffic, a high-pitched noise just before the loudspeakers came on, etc., etc.
When I found out about my processing problem, I also found out that other people actually block out all of that sound. I had no clue!
Do you have any theory on why ISFP tend to underestimate themselves and their impact?
When I was in school, I had an undiagnosed auditory processing disorder. I can't filter out background noise. I probably appeared stupid because I simply could not make sense of what teachers were saying with all of the noise.
I hear everything! Heaters turning on, traffic, a high-pitched noise just before the loudspeakers came on, etc., etc.
When I found out about my processing problem, I also found out that other people actually block out all of that sound. I had no clue!
No, I have the exact same problem.:-/ Is this just an ISFP thing, or do other types have it, too?
Part of it might be that society rewards assertiveness/aggressiveness, detachment, structure, and status quo. These are not the forte of the ISFP. That external impact is one issue, but ISFPs natural lack of aggressiveness and structure might make them less invested in "achievement". Their contribution is important and unique, and I wish more would naturally value the strengths of the IFP types. They add much lyrical warmth to the world.Do you have any theory on why ISFP tend to underestimate themselves and their impact?
I once had a conversation in a restaurant with an INTP, INTJ, and I?FJ. It was noisy and the waiters were rushed with that vibe of hurried anxiety. My friends were all calm as we looked over the menu. I asked if any of them could feel the room's anxiety and they were surprised at the idea of it. I have to consciously focus inward in those situations because I become physically anxious. It's a somewhat bizarre feeling. When I go out to eat I need a relatively quiet restaurant with a quiet booth preferably in the corner.:-/ Is this just an ISFP thing, or do other types have it, too?
What did this look like when you were a child? Did you frequently say "What?" and ask people to repeat themselves, even when you were being spoken to clearly?