although I don't feel ashamed of myself, or hate myself (anymore), I do feel the need to somehow validate my existence on this earth because I refuse to be just another human who came and went without being of at least some significance. My life, as short as it is, was given to me outside of my choosing, so therefore, I choose to make it have some external value, since I recognize that there are forces outside of me. The truth is I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. I could very easily just set up shack in the middle of nowhere and live out my days in relative happiness, provided I had a family (which wouldn't be too hard). However, I choose to go through the hardships, the struggle, because I recognize that it is necessary for me to do so if I want to live a life of significance, which is the only life worth living. This attitude can lead to feelings of seeming self hate, but in actuality it's more a feeling of frustration...which stem from a core truth. I love myself so much that I refuse to take the time to love myself.
In short, I (and, possibly we) feel worthless because we know that we can, should, and must be useful, not just to ourselves, but our friends and families, and even perfect strangers (past, present and future). When we recognize we aren't being as useful as we could be, we go to the other extreme and become self loathing. And the big secret? For every minute of self loathing there is at least one of extreme self love. I'm not sure if people less self depreciating feel the extremes of self love that we do. We sacrifice contentedness for the lows and the highs, knowing that the highs are not only worth it, but necessary for growth in all senses of the word.