Does anybody feel tension between the career they feel they should pursue and what...
Does anybody feel tension between the career they feel they should pursue and what their heart tells them?
I am starting to get a little better at these little tech jobs, and considering how long it took to get here, I wonder "Why don't I just stay here? I know pretty much what to do and I'm getting better at compensating for my scatteredbrained nature, so why not just stick with what I know and build from there? It seems straightforward enough, doesn't it?"
However, I have a nagging feeling in my gut that I'm not really doing what I want and I'm not showing my true values and feelings. Sure, I'm a nice guy and considerate to everybody, and there's no problem with that--as a matter of fact, kindness is a pretty big part of my true nature, already. I don't feel authentic and I don't want to be generic. I itch to try something new and maybe create a few good stories I can remember pleasantly in my old age. I don't want more regrets. I have enough already. Who am I?
To that, I say, I shouldn't let passing fancy get in the way of what really matters. I have a somewhat steady job and that creates security. I should not throw away that security chasing some will-o-the-wisp just because it feels "right". That would be folly.
Then again, these feelings are quite persistant. I wonder if I am even majoring the right major is school--sociology. I'm a thinker, one who ponders the mysteries of life and the world. I want to understand the world beyond just that I experience. I could do sociology, but I could also stick with what I know and do pharmacy, but then again, a researcher in the field of biology or theoretical physics could be quite rewarding.
Then there is love. Will I experience love...true love? I am wanting to learn myself before true love comes, but I feel anxious to think I may not truly grasp the ideal of love in life. I can taste the fringes, as I am in love with the idea of love, but how can I truly find the person I fall truly head-over-heels in love with. Love, not lust, though lust is fine is small measure.
I'm pretty sure every young person goes through this and I am pretty average for feeling these things, but I'd love to hear from some of the older members of the forum here where their life paths have taken them and if they are happy with where the paths led. Are you happy? I especially want to know that, as well as how to live free of regret and to come more fully into the moment. Life is passing me by and I'm missing it: there is pain--but my tears of joy are also tears of sorrow, and the converse is also true. My tears of sorrow are also tears of joy.