, I like the new avatar.
I have a few questions for you - don't think too much about how they might be related to instinct variant, because they're not meant to be directly revealing.
How do you divide your time up during your days? What do you prioritize when making plans or otherwise doling out your time?
Thank you for the complement on the avatar. Now to answer your question about how I divide my time:
The vast majority of my time is spent taking care of self-pres needs. I am a computer science student in college and am very concerned with school and maintaining a high GPA because I know that it could lead to jobs and possible internships that could bring me money in the future. In fact, I have a 3.5 GPA right now. I was working a job for about two months, and I was very concerned with my job performance because the job brought me money and I didn't want to lose it. I did however, lose the job because apparently I was too slow at the job. I should also mention that my mental health is not the greatest right now, and I am very preoccupied with getting it back up to par as well. In order to achieve this, I am seeing a hypnotist who helps me to relax and to learn to calm down my mind through meditation and breathing exercises and am also seeing a psycho-therapist. I developed a gagging problem that hinders me from doing hard exercise right now, and I am also trying to save up enough money to get that medical problem taken care of.
I really, really would like to get a woman in my life right now as well. However, I am extremely picky in my selection of mates and have sexual chemistry with only a very select few. I generally only go for highly attractive women that are somewhere between the 8 and 10 category and those are difficult to get. I am constantly trying to improve my looks in order to get these types of women. When, I am actually in a relationship, I spend a great deal of time with the woman that I am dating: we have sex constantly, we talk a lot, and we constantly go places together. The woman almost becomes an obsession to me. I can literally feel so connected to a woman that after only 3 dates, I can be seriously in love with her and be ready to marry her. However, I don't do this because logic kicks in and I realize that this has could potentially hurt me if I don't choose the right woman. Many times I have to reach out to peers to talk some sense into me when this happens, because I fall in love so deeply and so easily that it creates a problem. Plus, I'm not really ready to get married right now and enjoy playing the field when I am able.
I really do almost nothing to contribute to SO. I'm not gonna lie though, I often socially feel like a loser being so broke like I am now and have so little. However, having horrible PTSD makes it very difficult to find and keep a job. I rarely if ever do any type of group activities, and when I do it's with a small circle of friends. I should also mention, that I do enjoy large groups of people and parties but I generally don't socialize with many people there. I generally just attend them to find a mate. I also attend them to make find one or two more friends that I can hang out with. Generally I find that in parties, I feel I'm a woman going to a department store and picking out clothes: I pick out a few people and pull them to the side and focus on talking with them the majority of the night. It's either that, or I'm the life of the party and am the center of attention entertaining everyone.
That's me in a nutshell.