This list is for my ENFJ boyfriend, so i don't know how generalizable it is, but maybe it speaks to other INFs' experiences with ENFJs?
- Try to come across as more sincere in group social settings. I'm consistently perplexed about how you can be so genuine and wonderful to speak with one-on-one, and then "put on a show" in groups. At times, you can come across as very insincere. It's almost like you're two different people.
- Stop always trying to be the jokester. It can be incredibly irritating. It gets old when your default mode of socializing comes at the expense of other people, especially those who don't necessarily like to be put on the spot (As an INFJ my default mode in social gatherings is to hang out on the sidelines, so being put in the spotlight is a little disconcerting for me).
- Try to be more open to emotional conversations. Not all sadness or anger needs to be immediately relieved with humor. I know that you have deep and meaningful feelings about many things, but you often hide those thoughts with a joking facade. It makes me more reluctant to share my innermost feelings with you.
- Your playfulness with other people often borders on flirtation. I know that this is just who you are, but please remember to give me a hug or a little attention now and again, it makes me feel much better.
- Your intense sensitivity to emotional states is both a strength and a weakness. You "knew" me faster than most people in my life have but you're also so sensitive to my moods that you call me out on things before I even know how I'm feeling! I verbalize things at my own pace, give me time to think things through.