Deliberately lie to me, or break a promise even accidentally, and we have a serious problem. If you don't know, admit it. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you won't do something, don't.
This seems a bit harsh. I mean, it's going to happen. Maybe you don't mean this to sound as serious as it is, but are you going to dump someone because they forgot to get you from the airport or from school? Or because they didn't mail something? I mean you have to accept that people make mistakes. Or really like being alone.
It would depend on what "promise" refers to here. I'm not sure that "forgot to get you or mail you something" is the sort of promise being considered.
Jennifer's right. I feel like promises are serious business. Does someone really say, "I
promise I'll pick you up that day," or is it more, "Sure, I can pick you up"? I don't think people usually makes
promises about trivial stuff. If my partner offers to, yeah, pick up dinner or something, and forgets, that's not a big deal. I'm making a distinction between things like simple forgetfulness and
giving your word on something you might not be able to deliver on.
If you tell me you'll grab the mail or stop by the grocery and you forget, that's human. As long as it doesn't happen all the time, I don't think it's a big deal. If you
promise me you'll do something, and break your promise, that's a breach of trust I'll have a very hard time overcoming. I'm assuming that we don't make promises about trivial, everyday matters. I'm prepared to forgive accidental untruths and simple forgetfulness. What I have a problem with is deliberate deceit, habitual unreliability, or breaking one's word. There's a difference in my mind between saying, "I will do
x," and "I
promise I will do
x."
I would be kind of pissed if someone forgot to pick me up from the airport (the closest one is 45 minutes' drive if there's any traffic), but it's not the sort of thing I would break up with someone over. That said, if the person gave their word, literally
promised to pick me up, and failed to, I would have serious questions about this person's general trustworthiness and thoughtfulness. Someone whose word is unimportant to them is probably not someone with whom I can have a healthy long-term relationship. And seriously, who forgets what day their SO is getting home? If my
partner forgets when I'm getting into town, I don't think we have much of a relationship.
It might also be worth mentioning that I make long-term partners aware of how seriously I take this. If they do actually say "I promise" about trivia, I'll discourage them from doing so around me, or if they make a promise I doubt they can keep, I may immediately point out to them what they've just said and give them a chance to retract it. I hold myself to the same standard, btw. I rarely make promises and haven't broken one since I was a little kid.
PS. Okay, this is getting freaky, seeing posts I made year(s) ago and don't remember making.
What would be
really freaky, IMO, is if you
remembered all 18,550 of them.