There are some expiriences I feel cheated out of that I feel I should have gotten but the Jehovah's Wittnesses took from me...
Have you ever communicated with the member [MENTION=10714]Qlip[/MENTION] ? I honestly can't say for certain in this moment... but I believe he may have had a similar experience growing-up with the same religion. If I'm wrong he will have to forgive me. But it may be worth your time to reach-out to him as he may have some coping suggestions. He may in fact be a valuable resource for you.
Thank you, [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] , narcissism makes sense now. When I spoke of ''test'' I wasn't speaking of a supernatural test, but rather the ''test'' of reaching my many goals without a safety-net to catch me if I fall. I know one bad choice could land me in the gutter somewhere or in the grave.
The question now is how to sober up and see reality as it really is and be sure I'm not distorting it.
Honestly, I didn't have a problem with the notion of being 'tested.' I am of the opinion we are all being tested every moment of every day. The issue I took with those first two verses was the suggestion that this was not a strength and stamina building test...but rather a test that has 'right answers' and 'wrong answers.' And getting something wrong would automatically lead to heartache and pain (and now I see above the inclusion of death as well.)
How many times do you suppose it has happened in this world that an individual's "right answer" has lead to pain...even death? While what was believed to have been a bad choice for someone to have made... turned into something very, very positive for the person?
Are there some choices and opportunities that will make more sense? That will possess a higher probability of leading you to brighter horizons? Sure. But you aren't going to be able to see these things clearly if you continue to cloud and obscure reality by creating false "truths" and prejudices prior to it being necessary.
I mean, if we're talking about drunk-driving or running cocaine across the border or swallowing knives...to say "one bad choice" makes sense. But in light of what you're talking about how realistic is that statement really? Because I see that fixated prejudgment as doing more harm than good. How do you think you will get to where you're wanting to go if operating under the assumption that one wrong choice and it's highly likely to be all over?
I am telling you...if you truly want to have what it takes to achieve your goals...you need to detach. You need to get sober. You need to let go of this grandiose-fixated-magical-dramatic understanding of you and your life and how the world is. The healthy, wise e7 does not embellish first...and then try to figure out what the hell's going on. <-Trust me when I tell you that if something is gonna lead to the gutter...it will be doing just that.
The healthy, wise e7 accepts reality first...and then honors and appreciates that gift...and embellishes some if need be.
^I had temporarily forgotten about the haiku that appears in my signature. This haiku, having been written by the 17th century Japanese samurai Mizuta Masahide, embodies the wisdom of 7 like nothing I have ever encountered in just a few simple words. Here you can see precisely what needs to be done to live in 7s wisdom... acceptance of reality>gratitude. This is what 7 offers to the world. This is 7s secret to living a beautiful Life.
Barn's burnt down.
Now
I can see the moon.