Yeah ... my issue is mainly this .... I have a certain, very specific type that I am absurdly attracted to. Namely, the contemplative, tortured flavor of 4-fixed 7w6. I have come to accept by now that for some reason, I will keep gravitating towards these kinds of men so I'm not even going to fight it anymore.
Anyway ... my 7w6s have all been deceptively self-aware. They seemed to have a pretty good idea of their strengths and their flaws, they even embraced and flaunted their flaws in some ways. And they were hyper aware of misfortune and opportunities for misfortune, to the extent that they would look like 6s or 4s or 1s ... anything but the cheerful, happy go lucky, high energy 7 stereotype.
The thing is ... they have been genuinely unlucky. But unlucky is not exactly the right word ... rather, they've courted misfortune by treating their bodies like shit (I've only fallen for the intuitive 7s so far, I don't know what the sensors are like), just blithely ignoring all kinds of things until it's too late to fix them, assessing their abilities over-optimistically and rashly jumping into things based on those assessments, only to realize later that everything sucks ... shit like that. So they develop this perception of themselves as people who are beating back impossible odds, who are constantly being dumped on by fate, who are trapped by their circumstances, etc. And then, they start really truly succumbing to their 6 wing and coming up with all kinds of complicated and extremely unlikely nightmare, worst case scenarios ... What if this happens? What if that goes wrong? What if I never succeed? What if I'm never fulfilled? I'm stupid and dumb and can't do anything right. MY LIFE IS GOING TO SUCK FOREVER.
But even while they're going through all this negative self-talk ... they still won't take any real steps to fix it. They have agile minds. They are good with excuses ... so good that they convince both themselves and others time and time again. 7s are master hoodwinkers, especially because they believe in their own stories so often. And, like you said, they focus on relatively minor pains and flaws to avoid examining and working on the real thing.
As for my role? Even while I recognize the traps they are setting for themselves and for me ... I can't but sympathize with them and their plight, however self-inflicted it might be. I hate to see people I love in any kind of discomfort. Everything in me yearns to swoop in and flush it out and love them so much that it washes away their pain (and hope not-so-secretly that they do the same for me .... which doesn't go down so well either ...)
Anyway, I still haven't come to any conclusion about whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, I can't and shouldn't keep saving them from themselves or they will continue to go through life without any inkling of real consequences. On the other hand, how can I sit back when they're hurting? It is really really hard.
4s and 7s are bad for each other.