Southern Kross
Away with the fairies
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2008
- Messages
- 2,910
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sp
If that was directed partly at me, it wasn't my intention to undermine the skills of EXTJs.What I found funny was the indignation that two blatantly obvious blunt thinkers, would dare to impinge on what's viewed as Feeler turf!
But it really does have to do with people's interpretation of the definition of EQ. ExTJs are pretty good at cutting to the chase. We tend to be able to see through other people's shit and try to focus on the tasks at hand. We're also sensitive to manipulation, as in, part of the cutting to the chase.
Now, if EQ is viewed as smoothing feathers, my opinion is that it's not our preference. We can do it and some, unlike myself, are very good at it. But once again, it's not our preference since there are usually more efficient routes to getting things done.
As EI has been defined here, I'm in no way surprised that INFPs suck at it. I'm terrible at knowing the right to say and do to alter a person's emotional state in the moment, say to bring comfort; nor am I very emotionally zen internally. I certainly know many EXTXs that are much better at all this than me and I admire them for it.
My brand of 'EI' is more in understanding another's deep emotional states and possibly advising them on that, and even then its often distant and awkward. Its a sort of deep empathy without the skills to effectively convey it or take advantage of it.
I think EXTJs can be good at these things. You don't need to experience by proxy every ounce another is feeling to sympathise, comfort or counsel.I'm not saying ENTJs can't be emotionally intelligent (of course they can!!! ) but I think emotional intelligence also requires being able to nurture, comfort, counsel, and empathize with other people readily. It also requires acceptance and analyzation of feelings.
But you are right. I do feel like the definition of EI is excluding a few essential elements. Perhaps they are considered less important because they don't directly assist in the management of emotions, if not interfere with it. However, just because some aspects of what I would deem 'EI' aren't goal driven, doesn't mean that they lack in any value.