Could someone explain to me the REAL difference between ISFP and ISFJ without resorting to lame stereotypes about SJs being straight-laced or boring?
Could we seriously get to the bottom of this, because I think I have trouble telling them apart.
I think there are huge differences, at least in the people I've known. A former co-worker of mine, who also happens to be a current co-worker's husband - ISFJ.
He and I are both generally friendly people who usually have a pretty mellow demeanor and don't draw a lot of attention to ourselves in public that much, but the similarities seem to end there. In temperament, we are very different.
He has definite plans for his actions, has followed a steady career path, thinks things through ahead of time, keeps up with social obligations i.e. keeps track of all the doings and goings on of family members, friends, co-workers, etc. He pays his bills on time, maintains his car including all tags up to date, keeps up with the stock market and business world, has a general attitude of concern and security-seeking most of the time.
Meanwhile, I never plan anything, lucked into my current job and have no future career goals, lose track of friends/family if they don't contact me, frequently forget to check my bank balance and end up overdrawn, take pride in the fact that I went almost an entire year without updating my car inspection and never got pulled over (he thinks that's silly), know nothing about stock markets/business, and have a general attitude of excitement and stimulation-seeking.
I dunno if you consider any of that to be lame stereotypes, but all of it's true. If you want to tell us apart, ask the person "what's important to you in life?" Now you might get a pat answer like "my family" from both types, but if you probe a little more or get them to be more specific, then the difference will usually come out. The SJ is more likely to say something about providing for his family and/or his job or social duties, the SP is more likely to talk about enjoying life and having interesting experiences.
Those seem like the basic differences to me, from my limited perspective.