Very similar to SP/SX, internal conflicts about relationships, need for independence/emotional expression, but SX/SP is more counter phobic/intense, will entertain more dark/nihilistic ideas that others don’t want to consider
Energy around the issue of boundaries
Make strong connections quickly/deeply, but if they either feel betrayed, feel overwhelmed, or feel that the connection isn’t serving their true needs, they will cut the connection and go cold
High standards for partners, need to be able to share their emotions without being judged
Oscillate between wanting intense connection with intimates and alone time/space
SO blindspot, not concerned with how others perceive them except intimates [SOME of this, but I feel I have worked hard to develop this a bit]
Don’t seem intense until engaged in a conversation they find interesting, then the intensity/emotion become apparent
Volatile, internal struggle, can have 8-like anger, can come out impulsively/forcefully
And a mix of the following SX and SP 5 traits:
Avarice expressed through ongoing search for a connection that will satisfy their need for an experience of the most perfect, safest and most satisfying idealized union
Often cannot find this idealized person
Search for the high ideal like SO, but in the realm of love
High standard, want ultimate mystical union, divine in human relationship, high exemplar of absolute love, also with friends or spiritual teacher
More intense, romantic, emotionally sensitive, suffers more, more 4ish, more overt desires than other 5’s internally, but still reserved on the outside
Inner world of ideation and utopian fantasies of finding the ideal love that may not exist in the human world, this search of unconditional love is the search for meaning in life
They want someone to tell all their secrets, trust is the basic issue, will test partners for trust and it’s hard to pass that test, “Does this intensity frighten you?â€, want someone who’s not turned off by their strangeness
They are private people, but with the right person, they are open and accepting of others’ flaws and expect the same; trust very few people, but when they do they surrender completely
This ideal of trust and intimacy is hard to find, they often end up disappointed when they discover their partner is human, and isolate themselves out of fear of being hurt by others
Can sometimes relate to “emotional promiscuity,†ultimate contact with many people one at a time
If they click with a person/have chemistry, they can connect quickly, but still guarded in the face of a deep desire for intimacy
Focus on intimate moments, shared secrets, confidences
Passionate but may feel unworthy of the love they desire, want to connect, but feel socially inadequate so can suddenly disappear
Struggle with being present in the moment, store special moments for later review; when alone, they retrieve these memories and mentally review them over and over again, immerse themselves in nostalgia
Thrive on intensity and most comfortable expressing feelings in a physical/kinaesthetic manner
Can express themselves through art or conversations about psychology/literature
Share brief but deep/meaningful encounters with their absolute love, must fully surrender to them, can have long distance relationships and savour those few special moments, alternate between connection and long periods of isolation
Secret passions can feel overwhelming, fear losing themselves which leads to sadness/suffering
Conflict in holding that ideal, fear their own human imperfections might contaminate their love; they cope with this contradiction by keeping the love in their mind/imagination or expressing the love non-verbally with the body in a deep/intense/wordless connection
Strong sexuality provides relief from mental activity, is grounding, mix of imagination and sexuality can become dark/fetishistic, can be attracted to voyeurism/society’s underbelly
Keeping things a secret is exciting, enjoy sharing secrets/forbidden knowledge, made-up language with a partner, etc.
If MBTI Thinker, like to discuss logistics, science, mechanics, as a Feeler, literature, arts, philosophy-defined boundaries, isolation, introversion
External world seems hostile/inadequate/brutal, so the need to find shelter and survive within those walls, having everything they need inside
Learn to survive free of any external shocks or surprises
Difficulty expressing anger, communicate it passively through withdrawal or silence
They act covertly in secret so they don’t have to let their guard down
Desires are sublimated in specific interest/hobbies or erased, don’t want to be dependent on others
Avoid conflict, adapt to fit in and not be seen, observe how others act as a model and then camouflages, but can be resentful of having to fit in with others, however, they draw more attention to themselves by being too reserved
Only have attachments to a select few people/places
Might choose to share feelings with trusted few people, but are adverse to showing anger
Their warmth and humour can give superficial acquaintances the impression that a bond has been established
Fear of not being valued for their expertise
Panic if they don’t know the answer to something that pertains to their future resources
Self-reliant, rarely seek advice