Just yesterday I was watching a video on becoming old and I was like "man, why exactly am I not going to end it again?"...
Every week I have to consciously remind myself of the reasons I drew up for why I would not kill myself.
"I swear to god I just want to slit my wrists and end this bullshit, throw the magnum to my head threaten to pull shit....and squeeze, until the bed's, completely red, I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fucking buddha head...the stress is building up, I can't, I can't believe suicide's on my fucking mind, I wan't to leave, I swear to god it feel like death is fucking calling me, but, naw, you wouldn't understand..."