I'm guessing it's just a matter of which one you place more emphasis on. I think I'm fairly close between sp and sx, with a slight lean towards sx.
sx:
-I enjoy close connections with individuals
-I enjoy intensity in interactions and experiences
-I place emphasis on doing things that I'm passionate about
-Depth over breadth in relationships
-Always looking to plug-in to something - a cause, a passion, a calling, etc.
sp:
-Protective of my time and space
-Place emphasis on having security (bills paid, roof over my head, job, income, food, etc.)
-Privacy is important
-Material possessions (this doesn't apply to me 100%)
Whichever one you place more emphasis on or focus on more, is probably first in your stacking.
I think it's very hard for me to call anyone a "slut" or a "whore", or think anything bad about someone for having sex of any sort (no sexual hangups). I'm really wondering right now if this is common for sx'es. It doesn't necessarily mean I act on my impulses, because of the sp.... I'm internally conflicted. But I certainly don't judge other people for being overly-sexual.
I think they are right-on when they say that we are internally conflicted.... that we have strong sexual impulses, but the sp causes us to want to hold back on them. This brings forth a lot of worry, stress, broodiness, etc. I think it has led to depression in me before, if I wasn't attending to my passions and needs in that manner. I think sx is difficult to deal with and manage.
What are some observable differences, either superficial or more in depth?
Also, feel free to point me to a valuable existing thread (if there are any) or another resource. Thanks!
sp/sx: Comes out as somewhat heavy and gloomy, or cool and detached. Often gives out a suffocating and insular vibe, as if their internal world is wrapped around by an impermeable membrane. Strong sensory impressions designed to awake sexuality. Makes one want to linger on one or two lines forever.
sx/sp: Intense, often a stab-in-the-chest sensation, leaving me in tears without knowing why. Fantastical but much more concentrated in a few inner images. Can be abstract, animating dead objects into their field of contemplation. Embodiment of another human, thing, or idea is common in their writings.
I think the difference is just that sx/sp people will tend to have that nagging sp pulling them away from their adventure, intensity and connections, while sp/sx people will tend to experience the conflict as the desire for connection and adventure pulling them out of their fortress. I'm another whose sx and sp are both high and fairly equal. I think the conflict of having them fairly equal hinders personal growth. I tend to slip into an "analysis paralysis" because of the high level of conflict between the two.
The mutual attraction that blossomed on the set of Planet Of The Apes - despite her prosthetic mouth, lowered brow, ape's hair and false teeth - led to them setting up home, in a most unusual fashion, in Hampstead.
The house used to be two separate dwellings. Now, one belongs to Tim and one to Helena.
Each has its own very distinct decor: hers is girly, vintage and chintzy, while his is a gothic melange of 'skeletons and weird things' and floor lights in neon shades. Each partner has their own television, their own Sky Plus and their own kitchen - although Tim's is barely used.
At night they sleep in their respective dwellings. Not only is Tim an insomniac who likes to pace and watch TV, he says that she talks too much and that he needs some peace and quiet away from her. And anyway, counters Helena, he snores.
And yet there is the occasional blurring of boundaries since Helena has a craft room in Tim's half of the house where she likes to print hearts onto fabric and stitch ribbons onto mob caps.
She has, as followers of her distinctly 'shabby-chic' style will testify, a weakness for fripperies such as broderie anglaise and bobbles.
The two studio houses are joined by a ground level communal room, which is essentially a very grand hallway. Recently, a third home was purchased in the street which is home to the nanny and the couple's two children, Billy Ray, six, and Nell, two.
So how on earth does it work?
'He always visits, which is really touching. He's always coming over,' says Helena of Tim, in a way that suggests she considers this a perfectly normal version of cohabitation.
It's a rather rum state of affairs, but Helena enthuses: 'It really is a great idea. You never have to compromise emotionally or feel invaded.'
According to this, I am definitely an Sx-dom, but I am very reserved because I'm shy. I guess that makes me Sx/Sp.
Maybe I really am an Sx-dom... but like I said, I am shy and reserved and not constantly on the "prowl" for intimacy and connection, like Speed said. Huh...
I'm reserved as well, but still definitely sx. Sx doesn't mean you can't be reserved. Social butterflies tend to like breadth in their friendships. A lot of introverts (reserved) tend to like depth and intensity (sx). I'm not on the "prowl" for it either, but it's enjoyable and rewarding when you find it. It's rare.
"Whenever I'm around someone I really like, I get VERY paranoid about how attractive I look to them. If I'm going to meet with them somewhere, I go the extra mile to look good. But in general, everyday life, it's not that important to me."
Another proof that you are not Sx! When you are Sx, you are in a constant alert mode like there was an opportunity for sex and intimacy at each second. Listen, as an Sx-first, I never go out in a appearance that could make me look ugly and not attractive, and when i do, i consider it at a risk. Of course, as many Sx, I often indulge in neglect, the most extreme cases of horrible neglect come from Sx/So, but I take on me that I'm taking a risk for this time, and then, I look at me in a mirror and I think something like "eh, actually that make look like an adventurer, pretty interesting, hello honey, wanna fuck?".
If you don't care about intimacy as a general rule but are obsessed with someone from time to time, it's a typical clue nat you're not Sx, Sx-last are even more like this. And Sx is not about "find love", damn! Are we suposed to be emo shit or something ?!!
Like anything else in life, if you analyze it too much it starts to get way too complicated. Keep it simple and straightforward. If you identify with the sx desire for intense, deep connections and having purpose and meaning in life, you're probably sx. You'll get confused if you start going, "Well, I only like intense connections on Wednesdays and Fridays and only if I've dressed really nice and feel that I look good for the object of my affection. Oh and I always feel more intense when it's raining outside."
The only reason I doubted it is because I would think Speed would know better than me.
I want that house too! It's funny that they put the kids in a third house with the nanny! I guess that's somewhat of an unconventional manifestation of both sx and sp.I don't know if this is an SX/SP dream home, or if it's just mine because I am weird like this, but I read this article awhile back about Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter's home and thought: . How delightful would this place be? Primarily talking about their home:
Of course my SX side is like "sleep separately SADFACE!" and my SP side is like "I can haz ALL ze bed!"
I'll keep that in mind. Plus, sx is in favor of this. "I don't have to read your mind, just your flash drive."Want to buy: Social expansion pack for broadening horizons of mind. Please send PM if you have one for sale.
I want that house too! It's funny that they put the kids in a third house with the nanny! I guess that's somewhat of an unconventional manifestation of both sx and sp.
I'll keep that in mind. Plus, sx is in favor of this. "I don't have to read your mind, just your flash drive."
Like anything else in life, if you analyze it too much it starts to get way too complicated. Keep it simple and straightforward. If you identify with the sx desire for intense, deep connections and having purpose and meaning in life, you're probably sx. You'll get confused if you start going, "Well, I only like intense connections on Wednesdays and Fridays and only if I've dressed really nice and feel that I look good for the object of my affection. Oh and I always feel more intense when it's raining outside."
I was talking to my S.O. last night, just fooling around, and I said:
If you meet someone you connect with and are attracted to, and you want to move in the first week, you are sx. If you want to move in in two years, you are sx-secondary, and if you never want to move in, you are sx third.
An instinct is not only an desire, it is expressed in action. And to desire a connection is not Sx if you are not sexual in your presence, and your daily action of your daily life. To have an account on Meetic to fin an authentic and stable realtionship to make you feel secure and less alone is not an expression of being Sx-dom.
What fo you mean by "move in"?