Hi all, first time poster -- prepare to be dazzled (and/or I'm talking out of my ...). Saslou, I've read a few of your posts recently. My girlfriend is eSFJ, and shares in some of your insecurities. Couple things:
Sometimes it feels like your just not doing the right thing, be it not being intellectual enough, people choosing their words carefully.
Agreed that this
can be intentionally patronizing/condescending, but 'tis also an honest NP tendency -- searching for a particular word in order to articulate exactly one's intuition or thought/feeling processes. I do this especially when asked to explain/rationalize some crazy blanket statement I've spouted off, or if I've drawn a conclusion from a pair of seemingly random data points.
I don't like to judge books by the covers, yet it seems others do.
Like it or not, J's judge (according to innately installed yes/no good/bad rule structures). Your statement could be re-written as, "I don't like to judge others, but here I go labeling anyhow." Applying the concept of projection, the only reason being pigeon-holed/generalized would bug you so much is because you unconsciously (or consciously) realize that you do it to others all the time. The nature of J is to accept past-experience as correct and evaluate new experience against it, versus P's searching for meaning within individual occurrences.
How do you feel about yourself compared to the other types?
xNxx. I don't feel smart enough.
xSxx. I get where they are coming from.
I'm reminded of an "If I could be Aristotle I would be" comment you made in another thread. My gf has related to me that she always wished she could be a nerd but just isn't capable.
In my experience this is quite the double-edged sword. A realization/assumption such as this (my brain just doesn't work that way; its not me) could be deemed self-knowledge, but realistically is also self-fulfilling prophecy. I've seen how capable a learner she is when she's not busy doubting herself or wondering what other people will think of her, and have pointed out that if she spent as much time reading wiki entries, watching lectures on Google Video and debating random ideas on web forums as I do (versus watching Friends re-runs, working out/running 4-5 times a week, going for coffee with friends, managing a busy shower/party gifting schedule, etc.) her ability to read into the abstract or to contemplate complexity would likely grow. However, this doesn't fit with her internal network of value judgments -- it's something her brother would find easy, but not her.
Book smarts or no, I would suggest you get over society's book definition of "intelligence" and realize you have genius that other types are simply not capable of. Actually, hrm ... maybe I'm confused ... telling an SJ to take on an opposite view than that of prevailing society ...? Tee hee.
Also, the SJ tag is not accurate. I don't find myself liking or relating to the "SJ" type. I relate to the ISTJ type, which I like a lot. It's the second most common type in the world if I recall, and it's a type that can get you through life pretty well. It's really a great type.
"I don't like or relate to generalizations. Except this one which I highly identify with. It's great because there's lots of us so I fit in."
Seems pretty black and white, no?