sculpting
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- Jan 28, 2009
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Same idea: two quotes from above Fe thread. how does this feel coming from each direction Fe vs Fi? Do you have examples of similiar scenarios involving the apparent self centric nature of Fi that could be used as examples? The root question is how does Fe perceive this and respond, and what does Fi really mean to project?
She is incapable of having a serious conversation that has any meaning to the participants. Everything must be back-filtered through her. "Well I wouldn't want this..." or "I felt this..." Baby, we're not talking about you. Can you relate to anything without injecting your own subjective experience into it? She makes people uncomfortable talking to her because she personalizes everything and her manner prevents people from really talking about things around her. Once her, myself and two other coworkers were talking about whether or not they liked where tattoos are placed on the body, particularly the tramp stamp. She goes in a small baby voice "Well I have a tramp stamp." Another coworker says, "well just because I don't like the tramp stamp, doesn't mean I think you're a tramp. It's just what they're called." .
I think this is a good time to address the issue directly linked to this. Fi tends to view things through it's own eyes. That *looks* like monopolization and self-centeredness, however it is certainly not intended that way. We tend to bond by sharing experiences and relating. And those experiences tend to be personal, as that's how we operate, from within.
One of the things I actually learned on this forum, because you get a chance to go back and edit (and I still sometimes forget and have to go edit), is adding one little paragraph to my posts. You see, when I relate to something, I share something personal of mine, to show that I've been there, that I understand and possibly, what I did. This is not meant for attention-whoring purposes, it is genuinly meant as a means to relate and form a bond with the person in pain and show that they are not alone.
Unfortunately, it doesn't always come off that way. What I try to do nowadays, is add after my personal story a little parargraph as to how it actually is relevant to the original topic and highlight the similarities, as well as get the topic back on track as such and the limelight back to the person I was relating to. It somehow comes off a lot less selfish to do it that way apparently, as you indicate that it's not a tangent and you are still in fact commenting on the main issue, and not just drawing attention to yourself and how much pain you had to endure in your ordeal. I used to assume this was self-evident, but the miscommunications in this area have led me to no longer assume that as such.