A
Anew Leaf
Guest
Hi everyone. I would very much like some insights into how NT's process grief and whether my what my dad is doing makes sense to your viewpoint. (it is alien to me and has been hurtful a lot.)
Family: dad is an INTP (T to the max), mom was ENFP, and I am INFP
What happened: last year my mom got diagnosed with stage 3 cancer out of the blue. The prognosis wasn't good, and she only managed another 5 months after the diagnosis. During that 5 month period my dad and I took care of her on a daily and almost hourly basis. It was very exhausting in a number of ways for us both. I am an only child so it was only the two of us.
The grief process: a month after she died my dad told me he wanted to start
dating. His reasoning was that he loved my mother and would never replace her but that he liked being married and wanted to find someone new. I was pissed and told him so. He agreed he would wait until after the first of the year.
When the end of December rolled around he had another talk with me saying how he was an extravert, and how this harmony test told him he was "emotionally strong" and that's why his grief process was so short, and that he was just fine.
Since then he has met a nice widow and now he wants to sell the house, move in with her, etc. He has changed his haircut, his clothes, his habits, his hobbies, and now he wants to change everything else. It's coming up on 8 months to when she died.
While I understand that my own process of grief will be vastly different due to the different relationships we had with my mom, I still find it hard to believe that he is as "fine" as he says. I am concerned that he is simply distracting himself with lots of activities and that at some future point he will have an emotional "crash" of sorts.
Thanks for any and all replies in regarded to understanding what my Vulcan dad is up to .
Family: dad is an INTP (T to the max), mom was ENFP, and I am INFP
What happened: last year my mom got diagnosed with stage 3 cancer out of the blue. The prognosis wasn't good, and she only managed another 5 months after the diagnosis. During that 5 month period my dad and I took care of her on a daily and almost hourly basis. It was very exhausting in a number of ways for us both. I am an only child so it was only the two of us.
The grief process: a month after she died my dad told me he wanted to start
dating. His reasoning was that he loved my mother and would never replace her but that he liked being married and wanted to find someone new. I was pissed and told him so. He agreed he would wait until after the first of the year.
When the end of December rolled around he had another talk with me saying how he was an extravert, and how this harmony test told him he was "emotionally strong" and that's why his grief process was so short, and that he was just fine.
Since then he has met a nice widow and now he wants to sell the house, move in with her, etc. He has changed his haircut, his clothes, his habits, his hobbies, and now he wants to change everything else. It's coming up on 8 months to when she died.
While I understand that my own process of grief will be vastly different due to the different relationships we had with my mom, I still find it hard to believe that he is as "fine" as he says. I am concerned that he is simply distracting himself with lots of activities and that at some future point he will have an emotional "crash" of sorts.
Thanks for any and all replies in regarded to understanding what my Vulcan dad is up to .