After having read this diaglog between merc and athenian, I think that it's easy to say that you, Athenian, are stuck in your head, and refuse to come out. You're going into relationships with SJs like a ostrich with it's head in the ground would approach describing their surroundings, it doesn't work. You mentioned that their principals invalidate your values, please give an example of this. I honestly have never experienced this, if an SJ I'm associated with has a different belief if that topic is brought up, then we will talk about our differences and move on. It's the mature thing to do.
Assuming that every SJ or whatever will be a terrible person because of typology pretty much defeats the purpose of it. There is no point in doing this. You're just holding yourself back and lying to yourself.
To gain respect you must give respect, and if they don't respect you in consequence then they are just failures as human beings, a personality typing thing won't do anything to describe that.
I really don't see the purpose of hating SJs, they aren't all terrible honestly. The only way you could say that they're all terrible is by going out and meeting every XSXJ in the world and making the same judgment on them, saying that they're terrible.
Why are you afraid of creating conflict? Your relationships with people grow stronger when you survive conflict, especially necessary conflict. If you just go along with what people say and don't object if you don't agree with it, bad things will happen, misunderstandings will happen, etc. Why are you afraid of creating conflict? It's not the end of the world to have a disagreement with someone. You will never get your voice in if you just agree, thus making you feel unheard (like you basically feel). It's just a bad loop that you could easily fix. What's stopping you from voicing what you want to say? Why would you even think it was the best thing to do, to avoid a problem? You know that problems just get worse.