Not everyone seems to understand this concept, and it is annoying although (I suppose) well meant.
I have one friend (probably ISFJ) who I consider one of my gurus and who completely believes in this - allowing yourself the feelings that you're having, not making things worse by making yourself feel you should not have them, etc. She understands the value of working through difficult feelings and eventually being able to gently put them aside (well, that's the hope). Not that she believes in wallowing, but acknowledging that your feelings are valid.
Then there are the others... I guess I'm just a bit annoyed now. I'd told a friend (probably ENFP) about feeling low recently and some frustrations/disappointments: an apparent romantic opportunity with someone I liked a lot which failed to materialize; being a bit drained by trying to help out a troubled teen; etc.
Her responses were just very...well, I'd tried to explain that I can't just leave the teenager in the lurch (although I've been helping her to get help by going to the doctor for depression, getting a couple of other trusted adults on side, etc). Her response: "Well, you've obviously done what you can now so just leave it! You can check in with her later!" I want to say "well, it's not really that type of situation and you don't know much about the situation anyway..."
And as for the romantic disappointment... "Why are you feeling sad about someone who obviously didn't care much anyway? You said he was at least a good friend but obviously he wasn't!! He obviously doesn't want you in his life at all any more! Why have negative feelings about that?" Again, a situation I didn't even give much detail about.
Urgh...just ALLOW ME MY FEELINGS. No, I'm not wallowing, no, I'm not burying myself ever deeper in situations that are just going to make things feel more hard and sad. I'm doing my best with the way things are going and the way I'm feeling.
I dunno, I'm a bit sensitive at the moment. Or maybe I'm just a wimp. But I prefer it if people give my feelings (which are surely not outrageous or laughable or totally unreasonable) some validation and then some gentle suggestions with how to deal/move on. Not suggesting that my feelings aren't even valid.
Is it type related, do you think?
I don't know if it's type related. But for me, I need to feel that my feelings are heard and not judged. I've usually thought through all the various scenerios or possibilities (Ne) and so I need an ear to give me a sense that my scenerios are correct or way off. I dislike when I'm judged or when someone dismisses the situation as, "You think too much..it's obvious." I loved it when a good friend of mine said recently: "Every situation is different." Not everything is predictable based on what the majority of people experience. There's a lot of experiences/variables/ out there. I guess that I basicaly don't like to be judged and someone offer a pat answer (a good friend recently offered "you should be over this...call it what it is." That's just not helpful to me or what I need in the moment. I also don't like my feelings to be disregarded. If someone is kind enough to acknowledge those feelings, then I'm more open to listen to the logic of a situation.