LindseyLadybug
New member
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2008
- Messages
- 202
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
Something gloomy-optimist posted in an INFJ thread once got me thinking about a problem/dilemma I constantly run into.
With the people I am comfortable touching/showing displays of affection to (not romantic or sexual), I feel so awkward doing it. I worry how people will react to it. I know it'll probably catch them by surprise to suddenly have this reserved, quiet INFJ suddenly hug them out of nowhere. I'm not talking about people I'm really familiar with and normally hug and they reciprocate. Sometimes in my friendships, there will come a point when something just "clicks" and I'll suddenly feel close enough to them that I'm comfortable touching them. At that point I just have this urge to hug them tightly. Also, since these particular friends aren't expecting me to hug them (b/c they haven't seen that side of me), it's difficult to initiate a hug.
Do I hold my arms out? Do I say, "I just wanted to give you a hug goodbye?" I hate this awkward feeling because at times I want so badly to reach out to someone (perhaps b/c it's rare to find someone who truly understands, appreciates, connects with, and accepts me) but I have this fear that they'll reject me or it will make them uncomfortable. IDK how else to explain it.
I was wondering if any of the other NFs have this problem and if so, how you deal with it.
Does anyone else have this thing with how comfortable they feel with touching people? I get pretty uncomfortable with people I'm not familiar with, but the people I truly care for I sometimes practically smother...
If I am holding hands, leaning on, or hugging someone often, that's almost a sure sign that they're really close to my heart....
With the people I am comfortable touching/showing displays of affection to (not romantic or sexual), I feel so awkward doing it. I worry how people will react to it. I know it'll probably catch them by surprise to suddenly have this reserved, quiet INFJ suddenly hug them out of nowhere. I'm not talking about people I'm really familiar with and normally hug and they reciprocate. Sometimes in my friendships, there will come a point when something just "clicks" and I'll suddenly feel close enough to them that I'm comfortable touching them. At that point I just have this urge to hug them tightly. Also, since these particular friends aren't expecting me to hug them (b/c they haven't seen that side of me), it's difficult to initiate a hug.
Do I hold my arms out? Do I say, "I just wanted to give you a hug goodbye?" I hate this awkward feeling because at times I want so badly to reach out to someone (perhaps b/c it's rare to find someone who truly understands, appreciates, connects with, and accepts me) but I have this fear that they'll reject me or it will make them uncomfortable. IDK how else to explain it.
I was wondering if any of the other NFs have this problem and if so, how you deal with it.