ergophobe
Allergic to Mornings
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2009
- Messages
- 1,210
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 7w6
From Kiersey:
At times, ENFPs find themselves interpreting events in terms of another's "hidden motive," giving special meaning to words or actions. This interpretation tends to be negative and, more often than not, inaccurately negative. In the process, an ENFP may find that he or she has introduced an unnecessary, toxic element into the relationship. While ENFPs are brilliantly perceptive, they can make serious mistakes in judgment, which works to their discomfort. These mistakes derive from their tendency to focus on data which confirm their own biases. They may be absolutely correct in their perceptions but wrong in their conclusions.
I've been thinking the above and how it is very applicable in my case. I'm so used to reading between the lines, sometimes I forget to acknowledge the lines at all. Do other NFs, ENFPs in particular, do this too?
For me, it's not in all cases. In most, I like to give people the benefit of doubt and hold back judgment until absolutely necessary (not a great strategy in itself). Recently, seeing a romantic interaction come to an end has made it difficult to see anything said by the other person as sincere or positive. I spend too much time thinking up probable (negative) scenarios that would guide me towards understanding their hidden motivations better.
Do others impute negative motives to people when you finally do apply judgment when the evidence is not clear? Is it more of an ENFP thing?
How do you move away from assuming negative motives when regardless of true motives, sometimes taking what's said at face value may be the best for you in the long run?
Could you share examples of when you did this and how you relaxed the negative judgment/found it difficult to relax the negative judgment.
At times, ENFPs find themselves interpreting events in terms of another's "hidden motive," giving special meaning to words or actions. This interpretation tends to be negative and, more often than not, inaccurately negative. In the process, an ENFP may find that he or she has introduced an unnecessary, toxic element into the relationship. While ENFPs are brilliantly perceptive, they can make serious mistakes in judgment, which works to their discomfort. These mistakes derive from their tendency to focus on data which confirm their own biases. They may be absolutely correct in their perceptions but wrong in their conclusions.
I've been thinking the above and how it is very applicable in my case. I'm so used to reading between the lines, sometimes I forget to acknowledge the lines at all. Do other NFs, ENFPs in particular, do this too?
For me, it's not in all cases. In most, I like to give people the benefit of doubt and hold back judgment until absolutely necessary (not a great strategy in itself). Recently, seeing a romantic interaction come to an end has made it difficult to see anything said by the other person as sincere or positive. I spend too much time thinking up probable (negative) scenarios that would guide me towards understanding their hidden motivations better.
Do others impute negative motives to people when you finally do apply judgment when the evidence is not clear? Is it more of an ENFP thing?
How do you move away from assuming negative motives when regardless of true motives, sometimes taking what's said at face value may be the best for you in the long run?
Could you share examples of when you did this and how you relaxed the negative judgment/found it difficult to relax the negative judgment.