Atomic Fiend
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- Joined
- Nov 16, 2007
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Can't we just kiss and make up?
If you offered to do that maybe you wouldn't be in that situation, just sayin.
Can't we just kiss and make up?
If you offered to do that maybe you wouldn't be in that situation, just sayin.
You could take her for an orange julius in the food court.
I always do, I'm not into festering boils of a bust up, I apologised over and over lol but she always needed time to work her anger out her own way and come back to make up after.
The thing is, I've usually become more pissed off over the time it's taken to make up, and the cycle begins again.
2 sides of 1 crazy coin.
Can't we just kiss and make up?
No, that's not what I meant.
just trying to gauge what type of "upset" we're talking about here and i do realise that we all have our own passions so of course what upsets you might not upset me, etc.
*notes down how to win SH over after a bust up*
It doesn't even take a 'fight' or my being emotionally hurt/irritated/angry for me to need this down time. It might just be a discussion about something, or a question posed to me, or whatever....and the discussion/question might disturb/confuse/alarm/catch me off guard in some way, and/or I simply don't know my thoughts on said question or subject yet, I might get some sort of internal emotional reaction (or maybe not), and will need some time to assess that reaction first, and compose my thoughts, etc -- THEN I'll be able to answer or discuss.
(I recognize though that I'm probably now derailing this thread, and this isn't necessarily even an NFJ thing)
so true. i think of it less dominated by thoughts, which it probably isn't and you're probably right. but i can't even HEAR my own feelings without the bombast of the explosion echoing in my ears until i'm alone and allow the ringing to stop. and it's not even an explosion. it's just any energy that i perceive as being negative, hostile, hateful, or extremely hurtful to my ideals, self-image, beliefs, etc. anything i care deeply about and is SERIOUSLY important to me, there's the warning alarm sound and i just feel consumed by it and in-operational for a while. disillusionment is usually part of this, but i get it sorted eventually. i'm smart just sometimes slooooow when it comes to feelings, there's a lotta meaning to shift around and tweak.
my anger last about as long as a sparkler...it burns hot and fast and then it's over...i wish i could stay mad longer...it just requires effort to stay mad...it's like i just automatically revert to my happy state of mind.
this girl i know thinks of this moment like an atom bomb. she has NO IDEA when it will come but she is terrified of it bc we had it happen once before. all of a sudden i can not joke my way out of it, the wind picks up, sheets of hail, cows on rooftops, etc.
something hurts me and just gets magnified as it passes thru me and shoots out in all different directions. temperance is quite a virtue, they say.
depends on the situation, most of the time less then five minutes I'm like lalalala ooh lets go get some skittles! but their's been rare occasions where I've been angry for months and want to murder the person.
Ok, so I'm seeing a theme of not being rushed through one's feelings until one has felt them return to a natural balance on their own. If I get pushed to "talk about it" too much/too early, I just explode into a ball of spines. And as cascade said, it's impossible to talk about it when I'm not entirely sure yet how I felt about what just happened. I also resent being pushed to talk because it feels like a demand to share/expose something of myself with someone who just hurt me.
This goes for bad fights only. Not common tiffs.
My mind seems to go blank and all I can think about is getting off alone to get things back online.
I think maybe Ni has a big hand in this. It wants to sift through everything and make its connections before releasing the event.
i don't think I'd like being able to stay mad
because the rare occasions i do it really effects me negativly I tend to not sleep and i have no appetite. I mean I can't see why anyone would want that.
Also I tend to be very avoidant if I think someone's mad about something, I think this is because my mom's an NFJ and when she's mad its best to let her cool off. and in the past she'll be mad at someone and I'll be like I need this signed for tommorow and then she'll go off on me, and I'm like