I see it like this. There is feminine energy and male energy. Perhaps these come packaged incorrectly in bodies. I believe that gender identity disorder exists, and I'll just make that statement right up front. But within a partnership, the female partner will naturally stand down to her partner most of the time, or at least at times when there is an impasse; she knows her place. And, yes, this is submissive and submission may either be passive or active, it all depends on what the male partner dictates in that situation or moment.
Is the female partner stronger ? Perhaps in some ways, of course. But standing down and knowing her place is still a definite sign of inferiority in some way and that cannot be mistaken or ignored in the name of political correctness, else you are missing the point. How can this work long-term? How can a balance be struck if there is not exact equality among the partners? For the very fact that she is giving her energy to child-rearing and raising the young, and it is there that the balance is effected. If she were equal to her mate and made all manner of decisions and exertions as such, she would not have the necessary energy to rear children and manage the home and family, etc. If there are no young, she might enact this upon animals. If there are no animals, then perhaps the two would strike more of a power balance which you would find appealing. =)
A very strong woman will consequently need a very strong male to override her. A very weak woman will need a weak male. A very weak woman will not do well with a very strong male, just as a very weak male will not do well with a very strong woman. The proper balance of power must be struck for the ultimate balance, with the male genuinely commanding just a bit more power or domination than the female.
This works in a lesbian or gay couple as well. One partner will assume for maleness and therefore more dominance and one more femaleness and more submissiveness.