Nope. That's not right.
SFJs can do this, but NFJs don't care directly about social norms. However if you violate their system of morals they can have a similar outburst. An ESFJ and ENFJ could have an outburst about the same thing, say you were being rude to her friend, but they both would have different reasoning for why they were mad.
i roast marshmellows with it...
we use it to keep others warm and understood...
Ok I'm having hysterics right now..I typed up this entire post explaining my experiences with ESFJ/ISFJ/ENFJ and ENFP/INFP and ESFPs. I LOST THE WHOLE FLIPPING POST! I'm having hysterics....I'm flipping out!!!!!!!!! I'm going to walk away from this keyboard and try to recreate it when I return. Thanks for responding MacGuffin.
my date for his prom ate the centerpiece on the table and hung upside down from a tree in a kilt... it didn't bother me... he's a fruit loop, and people were going to stare...
...at your boobs?
What do you use Fe for? What if people don't respect it?
if they don't respect my feelings, like 99% of the human race is taught to do for the sake of social flow, i assume that they don't respect much of anyones' feelings... no matter who you are, you have feelings, fe or no, and should be treated civilly out of deference for the common human denominator...
It's this level of passion I find intriguing in Fe dom's. If they are good people also, it is also a source of great admiration and respect for me too-- This "wearing their heart on their sleves."
But I have to be honest when I say that I have never felt that level of passion for anything myself, and that is part of the draw(and the fear).
I feel I am at my best when calm and collected. I don't really function well when worked-up. So I tend to drive myself towards a "peace-of-mind."
The problem with this striving is that peace-of-mind, and apathetic are very close together states.
Perhaps my soul yearns for a way to avoid apathy, while still being calm. To be frank, sometimes I could use a good kick in the rear. But only if it is done with love AND respect will it be appreciated.
The other major issue is, I have no clue what it is that I (can) give an ExFJ. I don't like to be a free-loader.
And how do you react?
I had to re-read this thread, but for me this is probably the number one reason why a relationship with an INTP wouldn't work out. I don't even see this so much with ISTPs.
I'm basing this on the four INTPs I know IRL and from what I see on the forum. Some of the best words that describe me is synergistic and exergonic. I release lots of energy, I've tried to change that I try to blunt it but it's just what happens. The INTPs I know seem so retiring to me, like they should be in some quiet library pondering the secrets of the universe that I have no doubt they will eventually figure out or sitting on a rock next to a tranquil pond. My INTP friend is the one who introduced me to MBTI and she said I scared the hell out of her when we first met. We were roommates in college and I was the first one in our apartment. While I was away at work, she moved in and went out to run errands. Then I came in and saw someone was finally there and was sitting on her bed when she came in and she alleges I assaulted her although I don't really remember that.
My energy and apparent lack of INTP energy makes me feel like I have to squelch essential parts of myself to keep from discomforting them which eventually ends of discomforting me and I'll begin to act out. Also having a strong emotional connection with another person is important to me and I like cogitating about relationships in all their various forms and talking about them and thinking of ways it can be better and it seems like this just tires INTPs out. It seems like INTPs have problems sustaining that energy and it would be best to be with someone who doesn't require so much, so I guess basically someone who is lower maintenance. Even having to explain why it's important or why such maintenance needs to happen turns me off because (and here I am thinking with my Fe brain) it seems obvious why it needs to be cultivated and maintained.
I feel like it's easier for me to swing to the INTP side of things for an INTP to swing to mine. I just feel like a lot of resentment would begin to simmer in the relationship and it would just end badly if I constantly have to guide someone through the relationship jungle.
i find it offensive that anyone should be dismissed out of hand or marginalized b/c that seems to indicate either a) stupidity not to be tolerated in the dismisser, or b) delusional superiority not to be tolerated in the dismisser... which is why i was involved in so many class wars growing up...
Littlelostnf .. Retype it, i want to hear what you have to say on this.
Personally takes a lot to have a breakdown, when i do though everyone feels it. Thank god it isn't often.
Interesting. ideal type - ESTJ, real type - ESTJ
Go figure!
Do you yell? Explode? Get physical?
I had to re-read this thread, but for me this is probably the number one reason why a relationship with an INTP wouldn't work out. I don't even see this so much with ISTPs.
I'm basing this on the four INTPs I know IRL and from what I see on the forum. Some of the best words that describe me is synergistic and exergonic.
I release lots of energy, I've tried to change that I try to blunt it but it's just what happens.
The INTPs I know seem so retiring to me, like they should be in some quiet library pondering the secrets of the universe that I have no doubt they will eventually figure out or sitting on a rock next to a tranquil pond. My INTP friend is the one who introduced me to MBTI and she said I scared the hell out of her when we first met. We were roommates in college and I was the first one in our apartment. While I was away at work, she moved in and went out to run errands. Then I came in and saw someone was finally there and was sitting on her bed when she came in and she alleges I assaulted her although I don't really remember that.
My energy and apparent lack of INTP energy makes me feel like I have to squelch essential parts of myself to keep from discomforting them which eventually ends of discomforting me and I'll begin to act out. Also having a strong emotional connection with another person is important to me and I like cogitating about relationships in all their various forms and talking about them and thinking of ways it can be better and it seems like this just tires INTPs out. It seems like INTPs have problems sustaining that energy and it would be best to be with someone who doesn't require so much, so I guess basically someone who is lower maintenance. Even having to explain why it's important or why such maintenance needs to happen turns me off because (and here I am thinking with my Fe brain) it seems obvious why it needs to be cultivated and maintained.
I feel like it's easier for me to swing to the INTP side of things for an INTP to swing to mine. I just feel like a lot of resentment would begin to simmer in the relationship and it would just end badly if I constantly have to guide someone through the relationship jungle.
In conclusion: we better be sleeping together for you to get all of us.
Do you yell? Explode? Get physical?
I don't know about the other ENFJ's here online but as for me...I go deadly quiet and the verbal whiplash comes out. I start with a SHOUT..to prove I'm serious about what I'm saying then I drop it down a million levels and go deadly cold and as emotionless as possible....that's when you know I'm furious.
I have NEVER gotten physical...I've wanted to throw something but that physical part will come out in something that hurts me physically. I'll get a rash or something physical happens to me. Maybe I should start throwing and breaking things...maybe would have saved lots of hair I've lost and sleepless nights when I'm really pissed. (which again thank goodness doesn't happen often)
Strong feelings...ALL THE TIME! Strong negative feelings...not so much. Maybe that's my saving grace..I'm pretty much a positive strong feeling person.
explain!
i *abhor* physicality... i find anyone laying hands on me deeply violating and therefore don't do it myself... i had someone throw a drink in my face years ago and it was mortifying... upset me for days, just as much as if they'd hit me...
oh i used to throw things all the time... i managed to get the phone stuck in a wall once, kicked a door off it's track, broke a window... i haven't done any such thing for a very long time now because i get this sick feeling when i've 'harmed' something, inanimate objects, seeing the result of my intense anger... i don't hit people or animals... i don't throw things anymore... it was a really bad time and i was barely hanging on...
Yes, my wife says she knows I'm really mad when I get very quiet and calm when I talk.i've been known to yell but that's not the valley, that's just the shoulder... the valley is full of eerie stillness and cold and pared down almost robotic statements... most of the mid-range arguments are sharp tones, but perhaps not yelling... i yell with my sister, and maybe my mother... i have to be pretty mad...
You don't get to see the dark parts unless you're really special, like a romantic partner.
That's funny...an INTP friend I had I actually said that to him. This is something I don't need to experience unless we're sleeping together and we weren't, just good friends. I think he showed me more than he really wanted to but it was just easy like that. Prob one of the reasons we're not still really friends. I don't think his wife or he could handle it.