ISTP here... my g/f is ESxJ... in almost 2 years, every once in a few months we had the same argument because I want to be alone while she wants more time with me.
Shit, it's not my fault
( ...sometimes I have an urge to just DO something. I can't be chit-chatting and love making all night and then repeat the day after. If I'm not sure I'll have my alone time at least on sundays, I become impatient.
These arguments with her make me feel like I'm and egoist, self centered and undeserving of her love. She is emotionally attached and giving, to a point that I don't even understand, while I'm all for the "cost-benefit analysis" as someone already stated. I haven't experienced "emotional sparkles" with women since adolescence and I don't miss them at all.
I don't know if and to what extent I should go against my 'lone wolf' nature to please others. To this day, I never made many efforts.
Someone said that ISTPs are only truly in love with their hobbies: I agree completely.
But I'm ashamed of being so heartless. I'd never hurt a fly, I have a strong sense of ethics especially in relationships... but still, I don't really
feel it and it makes me very sad when people are offended by my attitude.