Belladonna
New member
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2013
- Messages
- 1
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
Hello...
I am an INFP female and I had the most weird relationship of my life with an ISTJ male. We had a lot of bad moments because of several reasons. We were not so compatible on some things and without common interests. But somehow we both felt very attracted one by other since the first time we talked online. The first time we personally met each other it was so magical... I can't forget that day...
During the time we built a bad relationship, but he was willing to try. He is very stubborn (as he used to say about himself) and we had a lot of bad moments through our conversations about world's issues (economic crisis and stuff), you know, different point of view, different beliefs and a different way of interpreting things about world, humanity and stuff and he definitely suffers because of these beliefs.
But probably the bigger problem that we had it was the different language of love that we talked. I had a strong need to feel loved by him and he couldn't express his feelings in the way that I needed. So I felt neglected during the period we were together and emotional abused by him every time we talked about the things that he has strong and rigid beliefs. I think, we became competitive both of us somehow, even if we are not competitive by default.
However I cared about him and I still really care and I am in love with him even if we have fundamental differences on some things. But he lost his faith in us, he doesn't care enough anymore (or not at all, I can't understand him), even if he cried a lot the day that he said me that he wanted to broke up with me (it was the first time that I saw him to cry that much...). I asked him many times if he is sure about his decision and he always said: "No. And I could never be sure". Nevertheless, he was adherent to his decision to throw out our relationship. He asked me to be friends, but I told him that I can't be his friend right now because I'm in love with him and I am not able to feel him as a friend.
However, after 2 weeks in sillece we talk each other again (online) in friendly way, even if I feel uncomfortable somehow. I told him that I miss him and I still love him and of course that I still care about him.
How I could help him to find his faith on us again? What I could do to fix our romantic relationship? How could I redeem him back?
PS: He has depression and suffers because of that (I know so well how is to be depressed...) and some serious medical problems, he struggles with his addictions, he is completely alone, without friends and almost without any contact with his family and I want to help him somehow... I don't want to leave him alone... I want to help him with his life somehow...
I am an INFP female and I had the most weird relationship of my life with an ISTJ male. We had a lot of bad moments because of several reasons. We were not so compatible on some things and without common interests. But somehow we both felt very attracted one by other since the first time we talked online. The first time we personally met each other it was so magical... I can't forget that day...
During the time we built a bad relationship, but he was willing to try. He is very stubborn (as he used to say about himself) and we had a lot of bad moments through our conversations about world's issues (economic crisis and stuff), you know, different point of view, different beliefs and a different way of interpreting things about world, humanity and stuff and he definitely suffers because of these beliefs.
But probably the bigger problem that we had it was the different language of love that we talked. I had a strong need to feel loved by him and he couldn't express his feelings in the way that I needed. So I felt neglected during the period we were together and emotional abused by him every time we talked about the things that he has strong and rigid beliefs. I think, we became competitive both of us somehow, even if we are not competitive by default.
However I cared about him and I still really care and I am in love with him even if we have fundamental differences on some things. But he lost his faith in us, he doesn't care enough anymore (or not at all, I can't understand him), even if he cried a lot the day that he said me that he wanted to broke up with me (it was the first time that I saw him to cry that much...). I asked him many times if he is sure about his decision and he always said: "No. And I could never be sure". Nevertheless, he was adherent to his decision to throw out our relationship. He asked me to be friends, but I told him that I can't be his friend right now because I'm in love with him and I am not able to feel him as a friend.
However, after 2 weeks in sillece we talk each other again (online) in friendly way, even if I feel uncomfortable somehow. I told him that I miss him and I still love him and of course that I still care about him.
How I could help him to find his faith on us again? What I could do to fix our romantic relationship? How could I redeem him back?
PS: He has depression and suffers because of that (I know so well how is to be depressed...) and some serious medical problems, he struggles with his addictions, he is completely alone, without friends and almost without any contact with his family and I want to help him somehow... I don't want to leave him alone... I want to help him with his life somehow...
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