Hey Scientist, btw - you are so funny, a true INTJ, making me come all the way over to this thread to comment more instead of in the 'flirting' thread!!!
I think I already gave my advice in this thread, I remember your OP but I'll expand on it.
Personally, whatever you do, commit to it, stick to it, and then fuh-get about it.
And I am ALL about confrontation when someone in my life has wronged me or I am confused about their behavior (unless that someone is my neighbors, in which case, we are all at a very nice passive aggressive stalemate lol). Confrontation OR dropping them. No halfsies. Halfsies = death! It's very easy for me to disengage with someone once I
know it's a dead end. (Of course, sometimes it's a hellish path to get to that point I no longer "care" enough to hold on)
If he ever comes at you again in an aggressively flirtatious way or just plain comes onto you, ask to speak to him 1 on 1, take him aside, and then tell him very plainly:
"Off the record, I don't like the way you handled our situation. I feel you were disrespectful. This kind of continued behavior is disrespectful. On the record, I have no hard feelings towards you but as far as I am concerned,
our relationship is purely professional and ends there. I look forward to working well with you and that's it. I do not invite nor welcome any behavior or comments outside of a professional context.
Stop flirting with me Thank you for respecting my wishes."
And in general, be as polite and professional with him as you would with any random stranger.
The whole "be nice and kill him with kindness"
1) FUH-GET THAT. Waste of time and energy.
2) You are INTJ!!
OMG, the idea of an INTJ going out of their way to be really nice to someone so that someone doesn't think they are 'mean' or 'dislike them' makes me laugh hysterically on the inside. It's not you. Nor does it have to be.
3) You have no obligation to this man anymore other than professional courtesy
If he acts out or flirts with you aggressively again, take him aside one more time and say, "I was serious when I said our relationship is purely professional. Perhaps you are not aware of this, but I consider your last comment or that kind of behavior to be flirtatious and I do not appreciate it. Please treat me like your professional equal."
Third time he gets out of line - slap a sexual harassment suit on his ass! Yeah! How's that for
revenge a lesson?
*
I'm not kidding, I personally would NEVER tolerate this kind of behavior (aggressive flirting, mind games) from someone I worked with, regardless of whether or not I dated them. ESPECIALLY if I had ever dated them. Luckily for you, your HR department and the law protects you from this kind of distracting and unprofessional behavior.
BTW, I speak from personal experience. I have TOTALLY called people out on bad behavior, flirting, etc. and then denying it. At the very least, people will respect you for it. And by respect, I mean adjust their behavior. The only fatal mistake here is that you have allowed him to think he can get away with all this. Show him that he can't.
*that means document every time he flirts aggressively with you, the time and date and place when you told him to back off, and every infraction after that.