Leaves a rather small segment of the population there, and even the emotionally mature have lapses.
Then you are undoubtedly one of the more mature ones, and what you are describing is your type at their best. I admire that you are able to see the best in people in this way, but as much value as there is in that there is certainly also value in doing ones best to see the whole reality of someone good and bad.
My whole point in posting in this thread is not to bash NFs, or to necessarily discourage Scientist from going after this guy. My point is that while compromise is necessary in all relationships, there has to come a point where you have a responsibility to yourself and your own happiness, and any SO that doesnt contribute to that should be dropped like a bad habit. The OP should talk it out with this guy if its what makes her happy, but also note that a small interpersonal "uh-oh" doesnt give him carte blanche to treat her however he wants. This is particularly the case, when in reading this thread you have other ENFPs chiming in that theyre not exactly strangers to emotional game playing. And, PS, to say that ENFPs arent judgemental is just not true. Yall are highly opinionated and very vocal about what you do and do not agree with. Doesnt detract from the overall charm, but to say that you (as a type) are bushy-tailed and accommodating is not factual.
Oh, I know you're not ENFP-bashing, but that won't stop me from telling you when you're wrong or a bit...quick to decide?
Ftr, I don't recommend giving in to anyones whims, but I do encourage double-checking before you judge.
Just because ENFPs are capable of emotional games, doesn't mean they will play it. That depends on which values they adhere to, so you have to check those before you can be sure.
As for the judgemental remark...it's not because I'm vocal about what I believe in and am passionate about, that I will judge you for not sharing that opinion. On the contrary. I'll be curious about your pov, as it could enrich my own. And I'll propose an exchange. Even if I disagree with you, one of my greatest values is that everyone is allowed to their own opinion and personal freedom is to be respected
as long as it doesn't harm others or restrict others freedom in the process. That means no judging and a 'live and let live'- approach. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that this is a very commonly held ENFP value. So I once again must respectfully disagree with your conclusions
Haha. Now this is kind of a derail, but I'm not saying that an ENT is going to be prom king. I can't speak for the Ps, but I know most Js spend the better part of their youth figuring out why everyone runs away after a friendly "exchange" with them. What I meant was that even if you thought he was the biggest asshole you ever met, that same guy turns on that animal charisma there are few he can't have.
Effective, for sure. Crude though, with little refinement. Just not up to my standard, sorry
I won't, its not and I do. And I'm thrilled to here you concede I'm better suited to giving another NT advice on the NF/NT relationship.
Nice try, I did no such thing. You may regard it as your job, but giving relationship advice is hardly part of an ENTJs job description, especially when the topic is INTJ-ENFP. You're welcome to advise me on how to best organize my sockdrawer though, or where to put which furniture when I move
Yes its better to never get between an ENFJ and the source of their sense of self-worth.
Aww
No need to be envious, baby. You have your skills too. Remember the sockdrawer?