Uytuun
New member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2008
- Messages
- 1,633
- MBTI Type
- nnnn
So, I've been developing Fi for some years now and I feel that it is tearing me apart increasingly. It's been good in that I've become a nicer and much less one-dimensional person, but it's also added torment, anxiety, doubt (I used to be so certain, a go-getter...want x do y, simple as that), some self-confidence seems to have gone, lots of ambition went down the drain...previous plans became hollow and meaningless. Most of the time I don't know what drives me, I end up procrastinating and not knowing how to control myself or if I should control myself...I feel like I'm the victim of something inside of me that is essential, yet beyond my grasp.
I'm much more like an INTP in behaviour (you know how they can seem tormented and paralysed by the introverted judging process of their preference and how they can stop doing what they "have to do" and give priority to what they "want" to explore) than an INTJ these days although the Te is clearly still there, it seems to be overwhelmed. Possibly I'm even more like an INFP in behaviour, but I don't have as much experience with/exposure to them.
I feel unfixed, unsure, blubbering all over the place and lost as to who I am...I'm also more irrational, more easily angered (I used to be way less angry) and disappointed because something isn't in line with my values (which can seem very idiosyncratic). It's very confusing, sometimes it's like noone understands me or the relevance of what I posit. And I wonder what that makes of me...am I not good enough? Is this a way of trying to explain away my recent worldly failings? Or are the failings a result of my not caring about Te stuff anymore the way I used to? I did not have this problem two years ago let's say.
I strongly feel like I'm letting myself go too much and need to pull myself together, but I think this can only be achieved by listening to Fi, not by imposing Te onto it. I've tried it, it doesn't work longer than a day or two.
So (Fi-doms) how do you listen to your Fi? How do you steer it? How do you integrate it?
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I'm planning on taking ballet classes once I've found a job/apartment. It just really appealed to me/touched me when I saw a video of a dancer and I've been researching and I'm enthusiastic about it - it's been a while since that happened.
I suppose that I should also try to find a job with a company that I really want to work for, or whose general project I endorse. I think that'll be important. Being part of something that enthuses me (like NASA ).
I'm much more like an INTP in behaviour (you know how they can seem tormented and paralysed by the introverted judging process of their preference and how they can stop doing what they "have to do" and give priority to what they "want" to explore) than an INTJ these days although the Te is clearly still there, it seems to be overwhelmed. Possibly I'm even more like an INFP in behaviour, but I don't have as much experience with/exposure to them.
I feel unfixed, unsure, blubbering all over the place and lost as to who I am...I'm also more irrational, more easily angered (I used to be way less angry) and disappointed because something isn't in line with my values (which can seem very idiosyncratic). It's very confusing, sometimes it's like noone understands me or the relevance of what I posit. And I wonder what that makes of me...am I not good enough? Is this a way of trying to explain away my recent worldly failings? Or are the failings a result of my not caring about Te stuff anymore the way I used to? I did not have this problem two years ago let's say.
I strongly feel like I'm letting myself go too much and need to pull myself together, but I think this can only be achieved by listening to Fi, not by imposing Te onto it. I've tried it, it doesn't work longer than a day or two.
So (Fi-doms) how do you listen to your Fi? How do you steer it? How do you integrate it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm planning on taking ballet classes once I've found a job/apartment. It just really appealed to me/touched me when I saw a video of a dancer and I've been researching and I'm enthusiastic about it - it's been a while since that happened.
I suppose that I should also try to find a job with a company that I really want to work for, or whose general project I endorse. I think that'll be important. Being part of something that enthuses me (like NASA ).