OrangeAppled
Sugar Hiccup
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2009
- Messages
- 7,626
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
On the other hand, that lack of conflict has little bearing on the values and interests that I would also like to share with a SO.
Right...and being the same type is no guarantee for lack of conflict anyway.
I do think a friend of mine is INFP now....I thought maybe eNFP before. We get along well, but she seems more an e9 and I'm an e4. That makes her laugh at my moody side and I admire her tranquility. I'm sure if we hung out more my defiant/difficult side would annoy her and her people-pleasing passiveness would annoy me. I can't imagine that kind of dynamic creating romance with a male INFP....
INFP + INFP = ESTJ
In my limited experience with INFP/INFP relations (my best friend/roommate who was with another INFP for 3+ years), it seemed to work out alright. Both were very into creative expression, so they bonded over that. But both just ended up being huge doormats for each other, and it seemed to approach the point of emotional dishonesty. Each would avoid saying something to hurt the other, and their relationship ended up being just one big clump of lies veiled by hugs and smiles. The happiness of each was just so dependent on the happiness of the other, and by the time they realized that both were unhappy, things started to kind of implode (I guess that's an Fi thing?). It's like they got along on an Ne level, but on an Fi level, things were kind of fucked. That's not guaranteed to happen though; both were pretty emotionally unstable. I didn't have 100% insight into their relationship either (obviously), but that's the impression I got from the stories I've heard from each angle.
I wouldn't rule out relationships based on type anyway. That's just silly, and hopefully the OP knows that.
But with INFP/INFP love, so long as you have an exorbitant amount of Kleenex (lotion-infused is optimal), a couple of buckets handy, and zero razor blades in sight, you should be fine.
I see ObliviousExistence's summation being more accurate for myself. I'm not a doormat, not that huggy/warm, very independent, and not afraid to speak my mind. I am however, pretty passive about initiating. I think that's exactly what would cause conflict in an INFP-INFP relationship. It would either never come to any level of true intimacy because neither would take the dive first, or anytime a value conflict would arise it would be WWIII; the ESTJ boxing gloves would come out. If it did work out, the "us against the world" mentality could easily develop.
However, I think it could work with the right INFP. I don't want to suggest that it's impossible or not worth trying.