I find them terribly charming at first, particularly the e3 variety, which seems the most common. The e4 is pretty appealing to, as they are a fellow 4 but a rather different type of 4.
They seem to embody my ideal partner, or in other words, if you typed my ideal then ENFJ might seem the best fit.
However, the Socionics relationship weirdly plays out here (for FeNi and FiNe). They are great for friends, but it never goes deep enough. I have this wonderful sense of them being like me but flipped inside out; but perhaps it's lacking the mystery of a more foreign type and the comforts of a more similar type. Still, it holds so much promise, I have not written it off as a possibility.
I dont think I need to really explain the promise which exists within this match. Both have a preference for feeling augmented by intuition, but they apply it differently, which can be very complementary. The ENFJ tends to have a greater grasp of interpersonal, social dynamics and the INFP of intrapersonal matters and more intimate interpersonal dynamics. Both may find the other insightful and impressive in their areas of strengths.
The J/P differences can seem especially complementary here....many ENFJs romanticize spontaneity, and INFPs are great at that; INFPs may appreciate some non-pushy help in being more organized and social. ENFJs can meet many social ideals, which INFPs are not immune to, and INFPs can be admirable to ENFJs with their courageous individuality.
With shared values, interets, beliefs, etc, there appears a huge potential for a happy pairing. Theoretically, it's great on paper...so why may it never take off or why may it fail?
When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
- What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
ENFJs can seem bossy at times. The typical response to this from an IxxP is to ignore it and do what you want anyway. That may infuriate the ENFJ. The ENFJ may resort to manipulation tactics, which will be seen through by an INFP and disregarded. When people don't respond to their tactics, I notice that NFJs will think "I've put all this effort in and they're not responding, so I'm writing them off!". To an INFP, this looks like crappy communication. The sensitivity of the INFP can make it hard for others to find the middle ground between being read as bossy or manipulative. You have to be truly diplomatic and allow the INFP freedom of choice, including freedom to act authentically and not in response to coercion. Since ENFJs may prefer to make a decision and get closure ASAP, it may seem to the INFP that their freedom is being squashed. When manipulation comes into play, the INFP's response may seem like they are just being difficult and refusing to give someone what they want when that someone has been nice about it. The INFP feels like there's a silly game going on and may want to call out the elephant in the room. This is when we, INFPs, may become very "raw" in our communication (probably most applicable to a subtype such as my own). This can seem harsh, mean, difficult, and rude to the ENFJ (how FJs often see me when I'm not responding to their attempts to manipulate). If not directed at them, they will likely find it amusing though.
For typically appearing personable and warm, ENFJs can actually be hard to get to know on a deeper level. Many will work hard to get to know you and make you feel special, but you can get a sense of them holding back. Sometimes I'm not sure the deeper part exists because they may seem to want to keep things on the surface, such as banter and discussion of wider social issues. This is where things can seem to come to a halt with the two types, IMO.
- What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
Can't speak for ENFJs, but one of my biggest frustrations with them is that they can make the INFP feel quite special, but then it's discovered that they do this with everyone. In short, they may not seem genuine enough for an INFP, who may also want more emotional exclusivity. Other frustrations can be related more to the e3 subtype who can seem a bit shallow and deceptive in their image.
I also get frustrated with what I call a "yo-yo effect". The ENFJ pursues the reserved, withdrawn INFP until they respond, but when they finally respond and open up, then the ENFJ seems to lose interest and puts the INFP on the back burner while they move onto others. Then if the INFP cools off towards them while on the back burner, they may suddenly regain interest and try to warm up the INFP or "pull them back in" again. An INFP will be weary of this, as the vulnerability of opening up is no small thing to them. This also seems to prevent the relationship from deepening.
- How can they take each other for granted?
Usual mistake of assuming another NF will just "get it" instead of communicating clearly.
The INFP may think there is something deeper than there is or potential for it, via a misinterpretation of the ENFJ's demeanor as being special towards them. The ENFJ may think the quiet, flexible INFP can be, wants to be, or needs to be directed.
- What happens with things “go wrong†between these two types?
I've never had any blowup with one. Usually things just fade out and regress back to friendly acquaintances.