Of the few INFJs I've casually known, I'd say what annoys me is:
- Overly formal, stiff way of talking/writing sometimes. It can seem very pretentious. Actually, INFJs can seem very pretentious, period. INFPs seem a little more light-hearted, but keep in mind this is coming from me, and I know I can seem somewhat contrived at times.
Yeah, I know I'm like that anyway. I think I have a big enough inner editor that people can't see the funnier parts unless I know them quite well and it's usually more one on one.
- INFJs can seem rather non-committal to large ideas, yet quick to judge on things which seem trivial to me. Their values seem too fluid & dependent on the external for my tastes. As mentioned, it can make them seem like they jump on and off bandwagons of ideas that seem, er, rather ridiculous and not very well-developed.
I agree that I've seen some flaky INFJ ideas. I'm curious what kinds of bandwagons you mean though. Can you give examples? I think we seem non-committal to large ideas because we need time to mull them over and fit them into the larger structure of our thinking (takes more time than details). We also just don't seem as good with surprises - I get my heart set on dumb little things and need a few minutes to adjust if it's not going to go that way.
Being flexible on small things and having a strong, solid foundation of principles makes sense to me, as an INFP....I don't want to change with the wind on my basic moral tenants, which are well thought-out before solidified, not adopted arbitrarily. INFPs are said to be truth-seekers, and INFJs seem more like idea-seekers.
- INFJs can
seem intolerant. Because their values seem to be more tied with community standards, I suppose they feel some justification in expressing these opinions. I think INFPs are the most
tolerant type, although not the least judgmental. The ability to hear and accept many different viewpoints without abandoning our own principles seems like the epitome of tolerance to me. (We talked about this on INFPgc, if this sounds familiar to anyone who posts there also).
Yeah, I have a tendancy to rule things out when they don't fit, rather than just listening. I think the seeming intolerance has more to do with how we process information than anything else.
- The INFJ forum is sooooo boring. If INFPgc seem whiny, that place seems like a big snooze fest. INFPs seem so much more playful and whimsical. It's hard to see the side of INFJs that isn't overly serious, but I know it IS there.
I agree. I've looked at more than one INFJ forum. I found that people were either disgustingly supportive (absolutely no waves/disagreement/calling anyone on stories that seemed wildly ridiculous) and a little pendantic all by their lonesomes.
And after saying all that, I rather like most INFJs I come across.